Tag Archives: real

Photo of an actual skull

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MEGADETH, Killing Is My Business… And Business Is Good! (1985, Combat)

The skull:
Among the first of the big dumb skulls, and certainly one of the greatest. The solid steel visor riveted across his eyes and the iron staples closing his jaws perhaps mitigate somewhat the dumbness, but it cannot be argued that this is BDSery in it’s purest form: a massive, real skull commanding the majority of the cover’s real estate, just daring you to fuck with it and knowing that you will not!

The music:
A thrash metal classic for the ages! While it doesn’t reach the heights of the band’s sophomore album, which in this Friar’s opinion is the single greatest metal album ever made, Killing Is My Business… is every bit the caustic revenge art its mastermind intended it to be. Mustaine’s riffs on the first two albums are utterly inscrutable; just try to imagine any other band coming up to the main riff in the title track. Or that awesome bass solo in “The Skull Beneath the Skin”. Reissued indifferently, then remixed indiscriminately, the original pressing is the canonincal one. If the copy you own doesn’t have this cover, and if it is lacking an unredacted recording of “These Boots,” then you don’t really own the album and should be ashamed.
– Friar Johnsen

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SKULL, Beer, Metal, Spikes (2005, Utterly Somber Creations)

The skull:
One could assume these Colombians were presaging a Big Dumb Skull website one day, naming themselves accordingly and slapping an utterly somber skullirific skull on their tape cover, just for us! And for the bonus glory! How kind. 1000% 10-out-of-10 A++ awesomeness here, from the band name to the plain ol’ big dumb skull on the cover. ‘Nuff said!

The music:
Spinal Tap attempting to play Venom covers? Man, this is rough, but if you like early Vulcano and early Sodom, you might get something out of this primitiveness. The questionable English skills add an element of unintentional comedy: “Demential Force,” “Thrasher (or What?).” (It’s way better than my Spanish, I’ll admit.) Harmless and kind of enjoyable, but ultimately more fun to look at than listen to.

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SAVATAGE, The Dungeons Are Calling (1984, Combat)

The skull:
The skull’s maw opens in a squeal of madness, apparently the remains of someone tied in chains in a dungeon (see chains on the right), although I never got the gigantic eye dropper…but maybe now I do…it may have been the torture device that sealed this unfortunate dude’s fate. But now he’s #9 in the Big Dumb Skullection. Prestige! God this cover rules. So does…

The music:
Aside from the first side of Ride the Lightning or the first side of Metal Church, is there anything more headbangable than the first side of this EP? The title track and “By the Grace of the Witch” are as lethal a one-two punch as any great metal album openers you could name. Unbelievably awesome riffs, the melodic banshee screech of Jon Oliva, the blunt impact of the production…metal perfection. The rest is good too, but maybe not quite as memorable as the first two songs, excepting “City Beneath the Surface,” another Sava-classic. I’d rather listen to this on any given Christmas over Trans-Siberian Orchestra, but I do like when I’m at the post office and see promo tie-ins with T-SO…which is nothing less than victory for The Dungeons Are Calling. Who thought anything related to this classic EP would be tied into the United States Postal Service one day? What a wonderful world.
— Friar Wagner

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SWORD, Sweet Dreams (1988, GWR)

The skull:
A rubber snake on a plastic skull.  Well, maybe the snake is alive, but that skull never was.  The massive logo steals some of the skull’s thunder, but certainly not much: this is as classic as it gets.  Plunk down a skull, set up some spooky green lights, take the picture.  Done.

The music:
Like the cover, this album simply gets shit done.  No frills, mid-paced heavy metal with deep songs and a killer singer.  Whenever I listen to this album (which is often), I remember the review that turned me onto it, which compared singer Rick Hughes to Dee Snider (but with a much better range) and imagined the music as what NWOBHM might have become had Metallica not intervened.  Many people prefer the band’s debut, Metalized (which also sports a skull cover, but it’s far too stylized, metaphoric even, to be considered for the skullection), and while I can definitely understand the appeal of that album’s speedier US power metal (even if the band is Canadian), there’s a depth and a maturity to Sweet Dreams that puts this album over the top for me.  Sword are even back together, but unlike most of the nostalgia acts working the oldies circuit, Sword is working with the entire original lineup, sounds amazing, and the singer still has it.
— Friar Johnsen

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MERCYFUL FATE, Time (1994, Metal Blade)

The skull:
This band can lay claim to one of the greatest skull covers of all time, 1983’s Melissa, although that screaming skull was deemed too fancy/arty/busy by the Council to enter our Skullection. The Time skull, however, is picture-perfect full-on skullacious skullness. We get it: time ravages all but the bones. Great. This is an unimaginative yet somehow striking enough cover. Just a plain old skull, its left side in the shadows, the cap at some point sawed laterally for shits ‘n’ giggles. The epitome of what we’re looking for with the Skullection; it’s big, although certainly not the dumbest.

The music:
Time came out around the time that King Diamond’s vocals started to cross the fine line from chillingly awesome to self-caricature. It’s also when he stopped using reverb on his voice — big mistake. His vocals are on the dry side, as is the overall production. There are some great riffs here, and of course those Shermann/Denner solos are nothing less than excellent; they work even on the worst songs (“Witches’ Dance,” “The Mad Arab”). I’m a huge fan of this band but don’t listen to Time a lot. When I do, moments to look forward to include “Angel of Light” and one of few Fate classics outside of the ’80s, “Lady in Black.”
— Friar Wagner

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KROKUS, Headhunter (1983, Arista)

The skull:
Totally bare bones (no pun intended): a skull and bones made of steel. That’s it. Black background with a Krokus logo and album title flying at top. Big, dumb and boring, but kind of attractive in its straightforward generic metal-ness. Probably took them 4 seconds to conceptualize it and 5 second to shoot the picture.

The music:
Not really a Krokus fan, they were always too AC/DC-ish for me (not a fan of AC/DC). Mark Storace is especially reminiscent of Bon Scott, although huskier and not as annoying. But Headhunter is the most individualistic thing they did in the ’80s, and remains the only Krokus album I would ever own if I decided I needed to own a Krokus album. I’ve heard this one a lot, as I had a bunch of friends back in the day way into it, and in 1983 it sounded like pretty bad-ass stuff to some people. But a Bachman-Turner Overdrive cover song? Pleeease. Songs I have to recommended, even to Krokus-sceptics, include “Headhunter” (a metal anthem, no doubt), the emotive, textured “Screaming in the Night,” and the album-ending two-fold jab of relatively experimental instrumental “White Din” and majestic “Russian Winter.”
— Friar Wagner