SMASH SKULLS, First Step to Destruction (2009, demo)

The skull:
Heads up, budding skull scholars! Here we see the formation of the Master Skull from which all other skulls are born. This image depicts the theory posited by most eminent skullologists, a couple of which are on staff here at Big Dumb Skulls as members of the Council of the Elders of the Skull. In this artist’s rendering, the Master Skull is shown originating through something akin to the Big Bang, wherein energy appeared from seemingly nothing in an instant, after which many crucial cosmological events take place. As the theory goes, its magnetic force pulls all newly formed matter toward it, using all manner of boulder and meteor to construct its spooky visage. Since it is, as is known, the intent of all skulls everywhere to cause untold amounts of destruction, this theory is known amongst skullologists as the “First Step to Destruction.” Were it not for this most critical event, many metal bands would have nowhere to turn to artistic inspiration and, in turn, we would not have a blog about skulls, so please give this most important of skull-related events your strictest attention, study and reverence.

All right, class dismissed.

The music:
This is fairly competent re-thrash rehash, although the vocals are absolutely terrible. The dude has no power or presence, blathering into the microphone as if it just doesn’t fucking matter who sings or how well or poorly they do it. Musically, again, it’s competent, but never have I heard such aimless arrangements. It’s like they just got riff ideas and laid them down like train tracks in the order they were conceived. That this Portugese band sounds like a third-rate English thrash band circa 1992 should tell you everything else you need to know. If they spent more time honing their songwriting skills, and not showing how well the drummer can balance while standing on top of his drum kit, they might just kick themselves up a notch to being worthy of comparison with second-rate English thrash bands circa 1992. Here’s hoping.
— Friar Wagner