SKULL593

RIVERGE, Rebirth of Skull (2009, Rock Stakk)

The skull:
This has to be the worst reincarnation ever: reborn as a cheap-ass Giger knockoff, a crappy biomechanical skull poked full of ugly dripping tubes. At least he’s a little scary-looking, maybe. I wonder what this guy was in his previous life? Probably an accountant or something. An evil accountant.

The music:
This is medium-sloppy Japanese thrash that generally fails to impress. It almost has the feel of crossover, but there really isn’t any hardcore in Riverge’s sound – it’s almost like they took their Leeway and Crumbsuckers albums and excised the NY hardcore, leaving only hyperactive caveman thrash. The singer sounds like a Japanese Tom Araya, but not young and awesome Tom. Instead, the Riverge dude sounds like late 00s Tom, a yelling, greying gorilla, now with a thick Japanese accent. That said, Riverge are not exactly a Johnny-come-lately thrash act; they have existed in some form or another since the mid 80s, and some of the songs on Rebirth of Skull, their first actual album, date from the band’s earliest days. Japanese thrash generally doesn’t do much for me, and that’s more or less the case here, although I’ll admit that overall, Riverge are better than most of the other Japanese thrash I’ve heard, and in fact a bit better (if only barely) than most of the rethrash I encounter. Their newer album sounds a bit better, so that’s probably a better starting point for those interested in Riverge, but you’d have to be a pretty serious thrash maniac to bother.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL592

ASTAROTH, Astaroth (1984, demo)

The skull:
A skull in a legionaire’s helmet. Simple. Brilliant. It looks quite metal, and has an unexpected relevance to the band — back in the 80s, Astaroth used to actually dress as Roman soldiers on stage, several years before Beefcake the Mighty popularized the galea among heavy metal fashionistas. Clearly, Astaroth were ahead of their time.

The music:
An early Italian metal band, Astaroth in 1984 sounded like a better-than-average NWOBHM band, with maybe a little Riot thrown in for good measure. This demo has that same working-class, everyman vibe as a lot of NWOBHM, where no one in particular sounds like a special talent (particularly the singer), but the enthusiasm of the band carries the day in the end. Still, this is a bad sounding demo that’s never gotten any sort of reissue, so probably only hardcore old metal nerds should even consider looking for mp3s or whatever. Somewhat surprisingly, the band is back together, and their 2012 album, which is actually their first full length release, is reasonably good. It’s more polished than their 80s stuff, of course, but it also lacks the youthful charm that animates their demos. I’m sure the master tapes to their old demos are long since lost, and that’s too bad, because I think people would eat this stuff up now if it was available.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL591

SUSPENDED, Prelude to Indignance (2008, self-released)

The skull:
I love skulls that look like they were drawn in MS-Paint. Every element looks like it was added to distract from another, until you’re staring at a giant pile of mistakes feebly coalescing into a whole. What are those yellowish-brown things in the background? Chains? Made out of baby puke? And why is the skull glowing green? Just because it matches his eyes? And speaking of eyes, this skull must be baked, because his eyes are completely and comically bloodshot. He’s screaming because he can’t close his mouth (his fangs get in the way) and if you’re gonna gape, you might as well yell. Of course, the two headstocks (Jacksons, from the looks of it) poking out of the top can’t be comfortable, but this is a skull who is entirely unused to comfort anyway. I’d say the prelude is well over. This skull is very much indiginant, en ce moment.

The music:
Suspended walk a line between thrash and Death-worship, and while the playing and songwriting are a bit raw, the ideas and ambition are here. Vocalist Melynda Montano is the weak link; her gasping rasp is not particularly interesting in itself, and she has a tendency toward wordiness that overextends her voice in a bad way too often. You’ve heard worse singers, for sure, but that doesn’t offer much relief when you’re listening to Prelude to Indignance (which is a thrash title if ever I heard one.) One thing I can say about Suspended is that despite being a new thrash band, they don’t really sound like all the other new thrash bands, with their single-minded fixation on Slayer and Exodus. There’s a little bit of crossover to be heard here, but it’s an influence and not an aspiration. And there’s the aforementioned Schuldinerian vibe, with a lot of riffs reminding me of Chuck’s early forays into more melodic areas on Spiritual Healing. Suspended aren’t awesome, but they’ve got a lot of potential, and should be showing on your thrash radar, if you are so equipped.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL590

LIMB, demo 2012 (2012, demo)

The skull:
Take away the fuzzy shit in the background (it looks like the artist just shook his dryer’s lint trap over his scanner) and this is a pretty bare cover. That dust makes all the difference. But: King Diamond wants his little symbol back. I know he got it from Anton LaVey, but King’s pretty much trademarked it in the heavy metal space, so don’t be intruding on his jam, Limb.

The music:
Ah, fuzzed-out doom. It’s been a while! You’re looking well. You still sound like shit, but you are what you are, I suppose. What’s new? Ha ha, I’m only kidding. I know nothing’s new. No one’s done anything new since Vol. 4 amiright? Okay, okay, fair enough – “sludge” is newer than that. So who are these kids you’re hanging out with now? Limb? Not the sharpest tools in the shed, huh? And that singer, jeez. Yeah, I saw the bassist’s SG. Very authentic, I guess. A little cliche, though, don’t you think? Well, sure, I bet they’re all really nice people, but does the world really need another band like this? No, I was asking rhetorically. Of course you’d say yes! Anyway, it was nice to see you again. Take it easy. I’m sure I’ll catch you around soon enough.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL589

BATTLERAGE, Battlefield Supremacy (2012, Metal on Metal)

The skull:
“Dude, I fucking owned the battlefield! I showed up, and I killed pretty much every fucking body. They came at me with axes, swords, maces, pikes, you name it, and I fucking knocked that shit down and killed some motherfuckers! You should have fucking seen it! God damn, it was beautiful.” “Bullshit, man! You got fucking killed just like the rest of us!” “No, man, I wasn’t talking about this battlefield. Duh. I mean, yeah, obviously my supremacy of this battlefield was contested and pretty harshly rebuked. I’m talking about that last battlefield. The one from last week. I was totally supreme there!” “That’s not what I heard. I heard some fucking wizard showed up and killed everyone with like a green cloud or something, and then took off, and then you showed up late because you were taking a dump and then you ran your mouth off and took all the credit” “Fuck you, man, that’s bullshit! Cause like, if that happened, how would anyone know about the wizard, because they all got killed. People are just fucking jealous the way I totally supremed that battlefield, and they made up that shit about the wizard.” “Whatever, man. Who cares anyway. We got killed this time.” “Yeah, but still. That last battlefield… so fucking supreme!”

The music:
This is a weird, stupid compilation of Battlerage’s first album, Steel Supremacy, and four songs from their “EP” Battlefield Belongs to Me. I put EP in quotes because the original release is 50 minutes long and has twelve tracks. Did I mention that Battlefield Supremacy is a cassette-only release, limited to 66 copies? I see that I didn’t, except to say that this thing is stupid. Which it is. Anyway, Battlerage are fine. They’re somewhere between German speed metal and South American true metal. Don’t expect sophistication or innovation, but if you own and enjoy a lot of albums with axe-wielding musclemen on the cover, then you’ll love this shit. I’m not overly impressed, but I’ll grant that Battlerage do their thing well, and the singer is surprisingly good, especially for a Chilean singing in English. Even the sound is good, and you know that’s not a given for this kind of thing. Of course, if you really wanted to hear Battlerage, you’d probably just pick up the CDs, or download it, or whatever, and not trawl eBay for a ridiculously limited cassette without any exclusive songs, but hey, don’t let me tell you how to live your life.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL588

ELEGY FOR EULISZA, demo 2005 (2005, demo)

The skull:
Alas, poor Eulisza! I knew her, Horatio. Like, in the biblical sense. She hath borne me on her back a thousand times, you know what I’m saying? Woof! And now she’s dead, gross. Here hung those lips that I kissed I know not how oft. With tongue, all the way! Where be your good vibes now? Now get you to my old lady’s chamber and tell her, let her cut a line an inch thick, with that party favor she must come! Aw yeah.

The music:
I can’t be sure I’ve actually heard anything from this demo, but two of the tracks on Myspace (which still exists, believe it or not, and is an invaluable time capsule for us Friars who are occasionally tasked with sampling the least noteworthy bands of the mid 2000s) are dated from 2005, so let’s just assume they were released on the demo in question. Judging from those, Elegy for Eulisza were a not-entirely-terrible melodic death metal band, kind of like a sloppy throwback to early Dark Tranquillity. Their singer, however, is entirely terrible, an inarticulate screamer whose voice might also be distorted by effects. There’s something refreshing in hearing a band attempt rather complex music without incredible precision – nowadays, just about any mistake can be fixed after the fact at even cheap (or home) studios, but I guess in 2005, these guys didn’t have the time or budget to corrections (which reminds me, again, of early Dark Tranquillity, whose music was just a bit too hard for them to play perfectly.) The two later songs on Myspace, from 2007, sound almost like a different band. Though they retain some of the noodly MDM of the 2005 demo, most of the music is instead more like crusty grind. The band may or may not still be together, but it probably doesn’t matter, because they’re clearly not going anywhere.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL587

XCURSION, Xcursion (1983, Rampage)

The skull:
This EP is sometimes called Skull Queen for obvious and awesome reasons. Look at this thing! Although it’s obviously a cheap, one-piece plaster replica, the crowned ladyskull with diamond eyes is nevertheless a thing of beauty and a big dumb metaphor to boot (even if it could and should have been framed larger in the shot.) The presumably sumptuous, velvet pillow is icing, but for my money, the element that MAKES this cover is the grid. In the early 80s, “GRID = THE FUTURE” for some reason. Think Tron. Nowadays, you see something like this and you wonder, “What’s the deal with the grid?” but contemporary viewers in 1983 would have accepted it as a signifier that made sense. But even they might have noticed that the grid only goes back like 2 feet and scowled, because the whole point of these things was to suggest an ordered infinity, not a just an ordered few square meters. If nothing else, this Xcursion cover reminds us of the good ol’ days when, if you wanted a skull on your cover, you were just as likely to call a photographer as a painter. Nowadays, if you wanted an infinite grid, you could have it even if you started with this selfsame photo. But back then, budgetary and technological limits were as hard as the men who put skulls on their albums. Maybe even harder.

The music:
Xcursion’s claim to fame is that it was Mark Slaughter’s first band, but don’t hold the man’s subsequent poser activities against him when considering Xcursion, who were actually a fine heavy metal band. Through they hailed from Las Vegas, XCursion remind me more of early L.A. metal bands like Lizzy Borden, 3rd Stage Alert, Malice, etc, not to mention Detroit’s Seduce, whose first album is very much of a piece with Xcursion’s output. Recall, 1983 was before hair metal as we would grow to hate it became its own thing, and back then, legit metal bands might play songs titled, “Love Is Blind,” and even heavy bands would sometimes resort to hard rock stylings. Xcursion were not exactly master musicians, but they got the job done, and while Slaughter lacked the fine control he would later develop over his reedy falsetto, his young voice is nonetheless less shrill here than on “Fly to the Angels” or any of his other execrable hits. If you like early U.S. metal, then you’ll probably get a kick out of this. It’s hardly essential, but once you’ve collected all the classics, this is well worth tracking down. Xcursion’s complete works were “reissued” on Old Metal Records, but that disc is long out of print, and I’d imagine the LPs are even more scarce, so probably blogs and YouTube are your best bet for hearing this curious but of H.M. history.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL585

TANK GENOCIDE, Honor and Blood (2012, demo)

The skull:
At least half of the approximately 400 Tank Genocide demos feature a Big Dumb Skull, but we’ve randomly selected only a couple to showcase the band’s commitment to the form. This is actually not even the original cover of this demo – the original featured a viking skull kind of like the one in the band’s (obviously unreadable) logo. The first cover wasn’t as fully skully as this, but I think it’s worth mentioning. Funny how every Tom, Dick, and Varg wants to stake a claim on pseudo-Norse badassery, even when the Dick in question is a French cunt whose pagan ancestors worshipped a pig and the Gallic equivalent of Hermes, god of travel. Swap out the horns on the helmet for wings, and the braided locks for soft Grecian curls, and you’d hit the mark exactly.

The music:
It galls me (ha!) to even acknowledge this shitbag’s existence in print, but my masters in The Council demand it of me, and I obey. This is ultrashitty bedroom Nazi black metal that’s exceptionally bad even by the standards of the genre. It gives me some solace to know that the men who would overturn the world order in order to murder and enslave minorities are so completely incompetent, but it’s still very, very sad to think there’s someone out there who would write a song called “Anders Breivik is a Hero.” Then again, it’s sort of hilarious that someone would record two different versions of said song: the one on this demo is actually “Anders Breivik is a Hero (Version Doom),” because evidently the original tempo wasn’t sufficient to convey Razor’s admiration for one of the most awful people in the world. Razor, by the way, is the nom-de-plume of the fat, chinless, Vichy jizzhole who evidently has nothing better to do with his house arrest than churn out 24 demos in a year. Fuck this guy and fuck every guy like him.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL583

BLASPHMACHINE, Hell (2012, demo)

The skull:
Sometimes I’m absolutely sure I’ve seen a skull before, and this time I was so convinced I had that I went back through the archives to find its dopelganger, to no avail. This bears some passing resemblance to covers by Conqueror and Revenge (and one of the members of Blasphmachine is pictured on Metal Archives in a Revenge shirt, so the similarity is probably not coincidental) but it’s not exactly like anything we’ve seen to date. So, I guess, kudos to Blasphmachine for making the most derivative-seeming but apparently original Big Dumb Skull yet. This is a dubious honor to stake, but bands like this will take their acclaim where they can get it.

The music:
I’m struggling to remember if I’ve ever enjoyed a rehearsal room demo. Nothing comes to mind, and Blasphmachine’s lone demo Hell isn’t changing that. As grindy death metal goes, I’d say they’re not the worst, but when your tunes are a blur of white noise by design, every last bit of fidelity you can achieve in the studio is helpful for turning your blasting nonsense into something resembling music. For some reason, bands that sound like this are always referred to as “black/death metal” but I don’t hear any black metal at all in their sound. Maybe they like Satan, though. Who knows, or cares? Now, Blasphmachine are from Malaysia, and maybe it’s incredibly hard to record a heavy metal demo there, and so maybe they’re to be commended for grinding this out (so to speak), but that doesn’t really help Hell go down any smoother. I’ll give them some points for including some kind of intro on “Bless the Fall,” though; it sounds like they just played some horror movie on the TV in their rehearsal space and recorded it through the air to their boombox. That’s commitment to the bit. But, ironic chuckles notwithstanding, there just isn’t much to recommend this.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL582

CLAIRVOYANT, Curse of the Golden Skull (2011, self-released)

The skull:
Seriously? What’s the title of the album? Curse of the White Skull? Is that it? No? Then print the fucking thing in yellow or something! I’m not asking for gold leaf on a self-released CD, but for fuck’s sake, is a little title/image congruity too much to ask for? Unless… maybe the curse of the golden skull is color blindness? Woah.

The music:
I’m not gonna lie: I didn’t expect much from this. I mean, look at it! This has “shitty demo” written all over it. But, it’s a reasonably good slab of Running Wild style power metal. It might even be about pirates, but I don’t really care to examine the lyrics so closely as to find out. It’s a bit rough around the edges, as you might expect, and as cheesy as any Running Wild inspired band has to be, but the music is about 10000000x more professional than the cover art. The singer reminds me a little of Stefan Schmidt, of Jester’s Funeral and Heavatar (and one other band I won’t mention), doing his euro Hetfield thing. He’s got enough range to deliver catchy melodies, and not much more, but he works well with what he has, and fits well with the rigging. The rest of the band have their shit together, too, and the guitarists in particular play well together. After releasing this album, the band changed names to the even worse Wölfrider, but they’ve yet to follow this with another full length. Still, good new power metal is thin on the ground these days, so while you wait for the next Solar Fragment disc, maybe these Poles are worth checking out.
— Friar Johnsen