Author Archives: Friar Johnsen

SKULL627

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BONE SICKNESS, Bone Sickness (2010, demo)

The skull:
There isn’t much to say about this skull except to note that the sickness in question seems to cause cracking and fissures in an infected skull. A tough break, for sure. What most tickles me about this cover is the efficiency with which they reused the N and E in their logo. No sense wasting the ink on two Ns and two Es, when one each will suffice. Clearly these anarcho-punks are of the enviro- sort. If only they could have found a way to cut down on the Ss.

The music:
This here’s some rehearsal room d-beat death metal that sounds like someone trying to reverse engineer Amebix from the first Bolt Thrower album. As crusty stuff goes, it’s very well written, but it’s hard to listen to anything so shitty sounding. Hard for me, at least — this demo has been reissued twice, on cassette and 7″ vinyl, so I guess the fidelity is sufficiently high for at least a few hundred die-hards. Do you think Hellbastard sold out when they released a full length album? Do you own at least five bands that start with Dis-? Have you ever stencilled anything in white out on your leather jacket? If you answered yes to any of these questions, then you need this shit. Like, right away!
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL625

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RETALIADOR, Ultra Violência (2006, demo)

The skull:
A second skull from Retaliador, this one a little more typical than the last. I must admit, I miss the silly hat. But, you can’t argue with a proper hammersmashing, I guess. What I like most here is the crazy extension of the lower jaw. It’s the usual case of an artist not really thinking about how bones movie to produce the shapes you see in real, fleshclad bodies. If this guy actually closed his jaw, he’d have an underbite to rival Popeye’s, and this guy also has to contend with fangs. It’s not so much ultra violência this guy needs, but ultra orthodoncia.

The music:
As on the demo Friar Wagner reviewed yesterday, this one trades mostly in mid 80s thrash riffs of the sort those endearingly inept Germans stumbled through. Without having heard that demo, I can still say that Retaliador probably got better in the interim. This is not polished stuff, but it’s still fairly advanced from the almost comically sloppy playing on the earliest Sodom and Kreator recordings. For the oldschoolers who love this throwback crap, that might be a problem, and for those of us whose baseline standards for execution were set in the later, more professional 80s, this is still too messy to be good. No one wins! But, if for some reason you’re still jonesing for Retaliador, this demo and a bunch of other stuff was collected on CD in 2012, although if you’re listening to this on disc and not tape, all your friends will know you’re totally untr00.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL623

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WITH HIS BLOOD, Disdain (2012, self-released)

The skull:
When your using stencils to make your graffiti, you should really tape them to the wall, or else you’re going to misalign everything and overspray everything to hell. If you want to be a top tier street artist, you really gotta pay attention to craft! You think Banksy works this way? Fuck no!

The music:
Ah, crabcore, how I’ve missed you! In the early days of Big Dumb Skulls, it seemed like I was listening to something like this every week or two, some steaming pile of ToonTrack samples, bass drops, and numetal grooves retooled for 8 string guitars. And With His Blood are doubly awesome/shitty for being Christian. At least, I’m going to assume they’re Christian, what with that band name and song titles like “Condemn” and “Product of Sin”. Not that it matters – making a band this stupid Christian is like adding one to infinity. I’d rather listen to a thousand Peruvian death metal demos than another disc like this because even the most unimaginative bullet belter has some measure of musical integrity, while these slam holes are basically metaphors come to life for empty adolescent rage. With beards.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL621

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BETRAYED, 1879 Tales of War (1990, Oso)

The skull:
The war in question is the Saltpetre war, which I’m guessing not many people outside of South America have ever heard about, but in short, the war was about control of nitrate deposits in the Atacama desert (hence the sand) and was fought by Chile, Peru, and Bolivia. I doubt the combat involved men racing across the sands on foot firing pistols at their enemies, but you never know. Maybe that’s how it went down, and maybe this is the most historically authentic Big Dumb Skull ever. At the least, it seems likely that this is an original photo for this album, which makes it the first classic snap-a-shot-of-a-real-skull BDS in a long time. Well played, Betrayed.

The music:
I was going to say that Betrayed play thrash like high schoolers, but then I remembered that Death Angel were just kids when they recorded The Ultra-Violence, so I guess Betrayed play like grade schoolers. That alone would only make them medium bad on the broad spectrum of old thrash quality, though. It’s the vocals that really push Betrayed into the red. The “singing” here kinda sounds like Snake doing an interview, or Tom G. Warrior in “Mesmerized” if he sounded a little less like a haunted house ghost. It’s a weirdly accented Sprechgesang. Betrayed wear their influences on their sleeves, too: a Voivod riff here, a Kreator knick there, Metallica throughout. There’s not an original (or good) idea to be had here, and to boot the playing and production are terrible. The only people who would like this are the guys who only listen to shit no one else has heard of. If you’re one of those dudes, then Betrayed just might become your new favorite band.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL619

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KILLERS, Mise aux Poings 2001 (2001, Brennus)

The skull:
It looks cheap, but this cover works for me for some reason. Probably the green. Green and flowers are not very heavy, so you don’t see them too much on metal covers, but Killers don’t give a shit. They said to the president of their label, “Nous voulons des fleurs, et de jolis verts et jaunes. Ajouter un crâne, si vous devez,” and, sipping from his glass of wine, the president replied, “Il doit en être ainsi.”

The music:
This is the French Killers, not the Paul Di’Anno project of the early 90s, and Mise aux Poings is, you will not be surprised to learn, a re-recording (made in 2001) of their 1987 album of the same name (minus the year, of course.) Why they did this, I cannot say. It sure as hell wasn’t to improve on the cover, because the original had an awesome angry bird on it. Not that kind of Angry Bird. As for the tunes, I haven’t heard the original version, but this newer one is not a great-sounding album, and it’s not at all modern sounding (2001 modern, I mean). Also, it’s hard to imagine that this singer was somehow worse when he was younger, but maybe one of the other guys, like the drummer, really blew on the original. I’d have guessed that maybe it was an issue of rights or something, but the same label that issued this reissued the original as well in the late 90s. So, who knows, or cares? It’s a very solid album, at least. Killers are a pretty good French speed/power metal whose main problem is that they sing in French. I have nothing against the French language, or non-English metal, but French is almost entirely unsuitable to heavy metal. Czech? Sure. Russian? You bet! Faroese? I’m in! But the romance languages fare rather poorly in metallic applications, generally speaking (and I make that final concession merely out of politeness – I have never yet heard le metaux français that wouldn’t have been better en anglais.) If you wish ADX were a little more polished and melodic, or if you wish Sortilege were a bit faster and heavier, then Killers is the band for you. If that last sentence didn’t make any sense to you, then you’re off the hook on this one.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL617

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ARSIS, Leper’s Caress (2012, Scion Audio Visual)

The skull:
The Leper must have caressed too hard – all the skin came off. It’s cool that this skull opened himself up to the affections of the afflicted, but I guess what we have here is a case of “no good deed goes unpunished.” But, for a rubbed-raw skull, this sketchy guy is looking pretty good, classy even, on his faux-paper background. The giant car company logo probably stings a bit, but I imagine he’ll get over it eventually, especially if he gets a free, boxy, orange car out of the deal.

The music:
Of all the bands to spring up from the initial boom of melodic death metal, Arsis are easily the best remaining, and maybe the best ever, and they accomplished this despite arriving on the scene fairly late. Sure, there are a few albums in the genre I prefer to any random Arsis disc, but these are the stone classics, like Slaughter of the Soul, Chainheart Machine, and The Mind’s I, and while while Dark Tranquillity has mostly made a career out of “good enough” and Soilwork has spent most of their time being downright shitty, Arsis have never released a bad album. Some are better than others, but they’re all pretty great, and the best of them are absolute masterpieces. My least favorite of their albums is probably the full length that immediately preceded this EP. Starve for the Devil somehow came off as too cheeky, even for a band who never took themselves too seriously, and so I had begun to wonder if the end had begun for Arsis, but Leper’s Caress turned out to be my favorite of their releases since their classic debut. James Malone, the guitarist/vocalist mastermind of the band, is an astounding player who shits out great riffs at such a prodigious rate that one suspects sorcery or other supernatural aid. This EP seems to have been written and recorded at the same time as the full-length that followed (and in fact all of the tracks from the EP, which was itself a freebie item from the weird Scion A/V promotional juggernaut, were tacked onto that album as bonus material) and you’d be hard pressed to draw a line between the killer and the filler across the sum of 16 tracks (6 of which appear here), but if I had to pick just one, I’d take the EP over the album. It’s fun while not being unserious, the songs are superbly crafted, and the guitarwork is brilliant. Like all Arsis releases, the weak link is the drumming – Malone seems to have a hard time holding onto drummers, and the ones he ropes into recording all appear to have tenuous relationships with tempo and naturalistic tones. The kit on Leper’s Caress, as on basically every Arsis release, are quantized and triggered to all hell, sounding downright fake in places, but these are not the worst-sounding drums in the Arsis discography (those would be the outlandish three-snare kit played by Darren Cesca on We Are the Nightmare), and really, aside from the clicky kick, these almost approach natural-sounding, at least by Arsis standards. I can live with them, that’s for sure, because the music is so great that even a drum machine couldn’t ruin it. If you want a physical copy of this disc, you’ll have to see Arsis live and buy a shirt or something – they’ll give you the EP for free. It’s totally worth doing, even if you already have the tracks on Unwelcome because Arsis are one of the only death metal bands who are as fun on stage as on disc. Top to bottom, Arsis rules, and you need to be listening to them.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL615

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MURK, Drifting Mine (2009, Bylec-Tum)

The skull:
Looking at this cover is like staring into the open casket at Chris Holmes’s funeral.

The music:
Murk sound like a souped-up Venom, playing proto-black metal that’s still 75% Motorhead. Raunchy and rudimentary, Murk are still kind of fun, if maybe not for the entire duration of this compilation. Drifting Mine collects a few EPs, some cover songs, and some rehearsal room demos, so the quality from track to track can vary quite a bit, and not just in the production department. “To Build A Wall” is almost unbelievably stupid, but “Perverted Behavior” is goofy fun. “Human Disaster” sounds like Obituary doing d-beat, while “Damage” sounds like a collection of the riffs Coroner would pack between the noodly bits. The whole thing has a deep underground feel without being unlistenably shitty sounding, although after a while, it all becomes a bit too much, and though it’s kind of impressive that a single guy handles all of the instruments and vocals (and we’re talking real drums here, not a machine), he’s not particularly great in any position. I’m not about to say that anyone needs to be listening to Murk, because even though I basically didn’t mind listening to Drifting Mine, I’m certain I’ll never be hankering for this again, but at the same time, if you like crusty, pseduo-black metal, then maybe there’s a place in your cassette deck for this.
— Friar Johnsen

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LATHSPELL, Reborn in Retaliation (2009, Excesor Christianorum)

The skull:
“Okay, the album we’re shooting is called Reborn in Retaliation, so gimme your most retaliatory look!” “Huh? What do you mean? Like, am I the one who is being reborn? And my rebirth is in some way a retaliation for some wrongdoing?” “Yeah, I guess!” “That doesn’t even make sense! How would that even work?” “I dunno man. They hired me to do the cover photo, and I hired you, so let’s just run with it.” “Okay, but it’s stupid. And anyway, I can’t really give you one look or another. I’m a skull. I can point myself this way or that way, and I can open and close my jaw, and that’s about it.” “Fine! Just look down, like you’re sad or something.” “Retaliating makes me sad? So sad I’m gonna… rebirth myself?” “Christ, man! You’re overthinking this! You’re a skull! A badass skull! Just fucking… do something skully! Like maybe your soul is departing to be reborn, and that kind of bums you out or whatever. This isn’t rocket science! Hell, it’s not even really art! This is for some Finnish black metal band!” “Alright. I mean, I appreciate the work and all, and I’m not trying to give you a hard time. It’s just stupid, this title. But okay, how’s this? Like, I’m thinking maybe I’m actually being reborn right now, so like my head is moving down the birth canal…” “Ugh! That’s fucking gross! Don’t you think you’ll have, you know, flesh and all that when you’re reborn?” “Well, it would sure be more retaliatory to come out just a skull, don’t you think?” “Sure, but then wouldn’t you be a baby skull? Those things look totally different from, uh, adult skulls like you.” “How do you even know how old I am? What does that have to do with anything?” “Man, nevermind. I just took a picture. It’s good e-fucking-nough. Here’s your fifty bucks. Thanks for coming in.”

The music:
The first several minutes of music on Reborn in Retaliation are rather slow and moody, and though it’s immediately recognizable as black metal, it comes loaded with atmosphere and mystery. And then the blasting starts, and for a while, it’s as generic as you expect black metal to be. Then they slow down, and things get interesting again. And then they start blasting, and all craftsmanship goes out the window. So it goes with Lathspell. They should really be a doom metal band, because they do downtempo much, much better than they do full-tilt northern aggression. In the end, there were just too many uninteresting fast sections to really hold my interest, and that’s too bad, because there’s a core of a great band here. They just need to slow the fuck down, and stay down.
— Friar Johnsen

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CHEMIKILLER, Evilspeak (2006, Autopsy Kitchen)

The skull:
What’s more evil than a collection of ghastly free fonts and a cheap-looking skull bleached to near-glowing by a succession of ineptly applied Photoshop filters? All that and a pentagram. The logo here looks like it took someone days to create while the rest of the art was seemingly dashed out in the 15 minutes somebody had left before he had to get down to the stop to catch the bus. The Antichrist’s passion is clearly not for the graphic arts.

The music:
This reminds me of some of the early Noise Records bands who teetered briefly on the fence separating power metal from early thrash. Think Running Wild’s earliest material, or the first couple Rage discs. The music is simple and largely derived from Judas Priest and Accept, but it’s played fast and with a grimy intensity and topped with vocals that aren’t exactly melodic, but aren’t atonal, either, and recall Wargasm’s Bob Mayo and another early Noise hero, Tom G. Warrior. Yes, Evilspeak is unabashedly retro, but it harkens back to a time and sound that no one else seems particularly interested in revisiting, at least not yet. Sadly, the primary mover in the band, guitarist/vocalist Ramrod, died in 2010 and this album is the last full length release from ChemiKiller. They were even from my neck of the woods and I never caught them live (although maybe because they were a studio project – I can’t really say for sure) but there’s enough good material here to suggest that better things were to come from this band.
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL609

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CHRISTER PETTERSSON, Play Fast (2012, demo)

The skull:
This probably would have looked pretty cool drawn on the underside of a skateboard in sharpie in 1986. As big dumb skulls go, well, he’s big and he’s incredibly, almost impossibly dumb, but it’s hard to get too worked up about something obviously drawn by a kid. We can be mean here at Skull HQ, but it’s not our intention to make children cry. Usually.

The music:
This is blazing fast grind that sounds like it was derived from punk and not death metal, which is to say it doesn’t take itself too seriously and isn’t too good. But grind is never my thing, no matter the minor variations. The film samples they include are fairly amusing at least. The historical Christer Pettersson was a a suspect in the killing of Sweden’s prime minister in the mid 80s, but his conviction was later overturned. I have no idea what are the politics inherent in naming your band after this guy, but I’m sure it all means more to a Swede than to me. Anyway, if you love both grind and crust, then maybe you’ll like this. It doesn’t sound horrible as these things go. But I’ll never be able to say anything too intelligent about this style of music, because I just can’t bring myself to care.
— Friar Johnsen