Author Archives: Friar Wagner

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VESPER, Possession of Evil Will  (2010, Düsterwald Produktionen)

The skull:
Although this design is striking and wholly professional, we really wish this skull were bigger. Lots of wasted space with that whole huge area of black and dark rust red. It’s perhaps the yellowest skull and crossbones we’ve ever seen, and the logo looks like it was done by whoever designed the Usurper logo. But yeah, bigger skull next time, Vesper. You’re on notice!

The music:
With the vaguely Nifelheim-ish look (album cover and the band members themselves), and also with the Agonia-style album cover design, we really expected a slab of drunken blackdeaththrashing madness here. And that’s what we got! All the usual influences rear their heads: Venom, Bulldozer, Sodom…you know the deal, you know the sound, you don’t really need to hear this to know exactly what it sounds like. They’re musically adept, especially the drummer, but really, it’s a lot of the same old, same old. And the lyrics, man, I know this is metal, and I can hang, but songs like “Analfisted by Satan” and “Sex Slave Zombie” set the stupid-bar at an astonishingly low level.
— Friar Wagner

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FALL OF SERENITY, Grey Man’s Requiem  (2001, Voice of Life)

The skull:
Pretty crappy design choices here. First, all that damn brown. Of course, brown as the “new black” was just gathering steam in 2001, so we’ll give them a pass on that. [Note: the image here looks more reddish-brown than the brownish-brown one my review is based on.] But the skull itself — could those four gold horn-type things on its forehead looks less attached to the forehead? They seem to just sort of float there, as if they’re implied. They’re definitely not actually affixed, in which case they’ve got no business hanging around. Horns are serious business! Same with those silver-y jaw-horns or whatever the fuck. And I’m not going to bother wagering a guess as to what all the other bony, horny junk is behind him. It’s actually nothing, really, just a mass of random stuff that looked cool at the time to whoever designed this thing on his lunch break. The poor skull itself kind of gets lost amidst all this horny brown nonsense.

The music:
After being inundated with a ton of average average black metal, average death/thrash/black metal, and average thrash metal (and above-average in the case of Mad Maze, skull358), it’s almost refreshing to get back to some good old Swedish melodic death metal from Germany. Almost. One thing’s for sure:  Germans do love them some In Flames. Remember Night In Gales? And Fall Of Serenity do it just like that, and they do it well enough, offering a style somewhere between Whoracle and Clayman-era In Flames. Of course, there is absolutely nothing original going on throughout Grey Man’s Requiem, it plays on the same old SMDM characteristics you’ve heard reeled off by countless bands through the years. But if you keep your standards low and cannot get enough of this stuff, you could do worse. It’s just what I’d expect out of a horn-laden gold skull in a field of brown, from Germany, circa 2001.
— Friar Wagner

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DIABOLI, Kirous  (2004, Northern Heritage)

The skull:
Some sort of Neanderthal skull here, apparently taken by surprise in the seconds prior to his death. I’m guessing death-by-meteor, the way he’s looking to the skies in bewilderment. And wait: does he look like he’s chewing on his own teeth? Or maybe his dental hygiene was that deplorable.

The music:
Either memory fails me, or Diaboli have changed. I remember hearing some of their ’90s era stuff, and it was incredibly primitive, with a bedroom 4-track sort of sound to it. But no, the band’s fourth album, Kirous, sports a thick bottom-end, a tight rhythmic foundation, and a punchy, crisp recording job. Lots of depth and quite heavy, the Celtic Frost-isms are clear throughout, although not as blatant as something like Usurper or Cianide. And indeed, there’s nearly as much early death metal atmosphere here as black metal. It sure as shit doesn’t sound like anything typical of Finnish black metal. I’m impressed, or maybe “surprised” is the better word, because as solid as this is, I still wouldn’t spend money on it.
— Friar Wagner

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NOCTURNAL BREED, Triumph of the Blasphemer  (2005, Painkiller)

The skull:
Originally released on the Hammerheart label with a non-skull cover, this version is a 10″ on Painkiller. In one of many skull cover motif subsets, here we have the popular skull-mounted-on-upside-down-cross image. This guy has horns, but they’re dwarfed by monstrous incisors that I understand doubled as kebob skewers. The dude was popular at his friends’ backyard barbeques, and is here immortalized on an inverted crucifix made of pork rib bones. Not sure who the blasphemer is, or what he’s triumphant about.

The music:
These kinds of EPs are usually such a scam. One new song, some live songs, and some covers. Nothing you would ever listen to with any regularity. Nocturnal Breed have long been upholding this very dry, direct, no-nonsense death/thrash attack thing, and they’re very good at it, but every single thing I hear by them fails to stick, even if it sounds okay as it breezes by. They pick out a W.A.S.P. song you don’t often see covered (“I’m Alive”) and a Death song you always see covered (“Evil Dead”). Special mention goes to the song title “Screaming for a Leather Bitch.” Yeah! This reissue adds an extra track with a live version of “Maggot Master.” If that’s enough for you to seek out the Painkiller version in addition to your original Hammerheart version, you’re way more diehard than me, pal, and congratulations on being so committed to leather bitches and maggot masters.
— Friar Wagner

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DESYBES, RN 6-32-4  (2007, self-released)

The skull:
I’m almost at a loss for words. This cover is an affront to big dumb skull covers everywhere, the very definition of laziness and it displays utterly horrid taste in design. DEATH TO FALSE SKULLS!!! They can’t even come up with a decent title for this EP. None of this bodes well for the music.

The music:
The four songs here are well-rendered but hopelessly faceless modern metal, masquerading as rocking melodic death/thrash. I guess. Although not exactly pristine-sounding, the style of the music here and the look of the dudes has me thinking they’re going for a Scion endorsement, or maybe even a Converse ad. They’d take a small cash infusion from Jagermeister too, if offered. But the music? I guess maybe Gurd meets Soulfly meets a really bad Soilwork song, but that’s being entirely unfair to Soilwork. The world doesn’t need more shitty groove metal, especially French groove metal.
— Friar Wagner

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TREPANADOR, Trepanador  (1994, demo)

The skull:
This artwork metal enough for ya? Holy crap. His flesh may be gone, but he’s still got eyes, fangs and tongue. This guy’s night of mischevious hella-fun is just gettin’ started! So, technically, yes, this is a form of trepanation, a drill with a humongous bit slammed into the uppermost part of the skullcap. Perhaps not one of the most subtle ways to achieve the pressure relief or increased blood brain flow that the procedure’s adherents are looking for, but it’s not the most subtle of surgical interventions in the first place. Then, plug that shit into a Marshall amp with the cord provided and you have the sound of METAAAAALLLLL!!!!

The music:
If you couldn’t have guessed from the cover art, this is a thrash metal demo. These Argentinians entered the game pretty late, so it’s not surprising that theirs is a completely redundant form of thrash metal. The vocalist’s guttural bark is a complete turn-off, too. To be fair, he mixes things up by employing a hysterical high-pitched wail that sounds appropriately panicky, if also lacking any real control. Musically it’s very fast and aggressive, not unlike Schizophrenia-era Sepultura, but not so like it that you should seek it out. It’s all quite dull, unfortunately. A variety of tempos are mixed up nicely, and the ability is here, it’s just that Trepanador lack the ability to compose anything approaching a memorable song.
— Friar Wagner

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WOLFSSCHREI, The Unknown Spectre of Evil  (2010, Black Devastation)

The skull:
If the identity of the spectre of evil is truly unknown, they could have come up with a cover that better obfuscated the evil, because I found it right away! This guy’s peeking out of some random brown Photoshoppery noise that looks like poop and brown Play-Doh smooshed together. Dark, maybe. Kinda bleak, too, if you use your imagination. Somewhat evil, but very well known. 366 times known, actually. And counting…

The music:
Seething, scathing German black metal, an evil whirlwind of sound with a cold, cavernous production. You can probably hear it in your head already. Layered vocals and freezing guitars feature highly in Wolfsschrei’s approach, and for what they’re doing, they’re pretty good, if uneventful. If you like German black metal but don’t favor the necro sound, you might dig these guys, as they’re more Endstille than Moonblood, if you know what I mean. I hear a little Destroyer 666 here too. Oh, and it’s very, very, very fast.
— Friar Wagner

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NECROCURSE, Chaos Carnage Cataclysm  (2011, Aftermath Music)

The skull:
If you’re familiar with Marvel Comics circa the 1960s/’70s, you might remember an artist named Gene Colan. And if you do, you’ll understand why I look at the Necrocurse artwork for Chaos Carnage Cataclysm and see his style all over it. In his most macabre moments, Colan drew like he was tripping on acid with each stroke, the features of his characters eerily rendered and just slightly out of proportion. And then some of his stuff looked like quick sketches, as if he was pressed for time. Whatever the case, his is an instantly recognizable style and one relegated to comics’ old school. I’d be surprised if whoever drew this cover for Necrocurse wasn’t influenced by Gene Colan. It’s got that trippy phantasmagoria he was so good at capturing. And look at the disaster that the skull’s eyeballs have endured! (Don’t worry about the fact that there are three eyeballs pictured — a minor detail, move along, nothing to see here.) Despite the cobweb (another incidental detail — work with me here), you get the sense we’re witnessing this skull’s first moments of actually being a skull, his living human features (skin, blood, eyeballs) having been melted off just minutes before this particular frame, probably thanks to some kind of satanic curse. Like, a necro curse.

The music:
Add Necrocurse to the long resume of one Nicklas Rudolfsson (Runemagick, Deathwitch, Swordmaster, amongst others). He plays drums here, and it’s no huge surprise (or leap) that Necrocurse plays brutal Swedish death metal akin to early Runemagick. You might have guessed it already, but lemme spell it out for you: there’s not one iota of originality
here. There’s another Swedish metal luminary present, one Hellbutcher, from the much-lauded Nifelheim. You have to wonder what Mr. Butcher is getting out of this experience that he doesn’t out of Nifelheim. Fatter guitar sound? The fairly regular release schedule of a more prolific band than Nifelheim? Whatever it is, it reminds of when Glen Benton of Satanic death metallers Deicide briefly joined Satanic death metallers Vital Remains because he wanted to, you know, spread his wings. There are two songs on this 7″, the band’s debut, and they have offered a handful of other releases since, a frequency which must have Hellbutcher’s head spinning. Personally, I’d rather see a new Nifelheim album than another Necrocurse release. This band is fine, but recommended only to the anal-retentive SDM completist who cannot get enough.
— Friar Wagner

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BLASTANUS, Odd  (2009, self-released)

The skull:
Odd Firth is the disowned heir to the Vic Firth drumstick dynasty. His ouster from the family and the resulting loss of the family fortune compelled him to seek revenge on skulls by stabbing them in the eye sockets with his own custom made drumsticks. One such incident is depicted here. Fortunately for this particular skull, a drumstick in the eye socket is just the thing with which to kick off a lazy Sunday afternoon. Now if only Vic himself would ram one in the left socket and make it a complete stick-in-socket overload of a bonegasm. Also, this guy sports some of the finest choppers we’ve ever seen on a skull.

The music:
Here at Big Dumb Skulls, we’re often forced to acknowledge the above-average abilities of the average Finnish metal band. But we can’t keep giving every Finn-band a pass if their music stinks, and that brings Blastanus right into the firing line, because this is totally functionless death/grind, beyond whatever kicks it gives to the musicians involved. There was no need for them to share this entirely unentertaining album with the rest of the world. You can safely skip it. Interestingly, this album came out just before they added a saxophonist, which I’m sure made all the difference in their musical quality. (Yeah, right.)
— Friar Wagner

 

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MASTIFAL, Holocausto Mental  (2000, self-released)

The skull:
Dig the skull and crossbones in the logo, which shows great dedication to the BDS way of life. As for the big skull on the cover, he’s going through some tough times right now so will you just lay off? Stuck out in the desert, and just getting used to that bullshit, when suddenly the top half of his bony noggin starts to combust. You get the feeling that by the time you get around to the next frame in the sequence the skull is going to be nothing but dust. Sad really — he was rendered so well. We thought he was gonna make it.

The music:
First, these arrangements are messy. It’s like they came up with riff ideas and then laid them down in the order they were conceived. And the dude’s vocals sound silly, which is unintentional of course, as he’s doing his damnedest to out-Max late ’80s Max Cavalera and making a dumb mess of it, all bloated, dorky-sounding fake hate. On the plus side, every now and then they’ll come up with a really good sequence, like the beginning of “Fabricia de Monos,” and there’s an energy here that’s laudable in its pedal-to-the-metal wildness. But, ultimately, this is sub-Sepultura/post-Sepultura that reminds us of two things: 1) the original is still the best, and 2) Sepultura really, really sucks nowadays. (It’s not all Sepultura worship: I hear shades of Dorsal Atlantica here too.) Props to Mastifal for doing what they do since 1998, and apparently they’ve morphed from the old death/thrash style heard here to a more streamlined type of melodic death metal. Somebody out there likes them a lot, I guess.
— Friar Wagner