Author Archives: Friar Wagner

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ASYLIUM, An Architecture of Human Desolation  (2011, Necrotic)

The skull:
This Swedish band is extremely skull-friendly. We’ll get to the album cover in a sec, but we must note that their label (from Illinois, interestingly enough) has a logo that features a skull, and the guitarist in the band wears a hoodie that shows a humongous air-brushed skull on it. Good on ya, Fredrik Lundell! The cover itself is not too bad, although it’s hard to glean any real meaning from it. Just as the band’s pretty cool logo is entangled in barbed wire, so the skull is entangled in stringy black threads, perhaps the very threads of sanity, or perhaps the twig-like ends of tree branches that are also seen in the right half of the artwork background. The skull looks longingly off into the distance — this is yet another sub-set of Big Dumb Skull covers, the “contemplative side-view skull.” He apparently keeps up diligently with his dental hygiene, having a mouth full of gleaming white choppers.

The music:
I’m always skeptical when a Swedish death metal band is made up of members who have not played in any other bands (excepting their drummer, but his other two bands are ones you’ve never heard of). It’s just not the way this Swedish scene runs its business. So, how are they? They’re fine, thank you. No seriously, they’re fine. And, the more I listen, the more I think they’re a step or two above “fine.” They’re very heavy, with a scathing, super-intense thrash thread running through their death metal, almost as if Merciless reformed again and tried to outblast the modern death metal competition. Their guitar sound is less of the bloated, Grave-like/Dismember-esque sort of thing and more like Liers In Wait or the like, that sinewy, psychotic sound typical of the original Gothenburg bands. They really do resemble an updated version of Liers In Wait, and there’s a melodic progression that reminds me of Eucharist in “An Eternity of Human Decay.” They also recall the great and underrated Uncanny, complete with the ultra-seething, frantic momentum, super-abrupt time changes and otherworldly atmosphere. Vocally it’s all pretty deathly, nothing very distinctive but a good throaty delivery imbued with plenty of power; at the very least it lets you know this is very goddamned Swedish. Yep, if you dig Uncanny and Liers In Wait and want something along those lines with a slightly fuller, more modern production, Asylium and this album will fit the bill.
— Friar Wagner

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FLEURETY, Department of Apocalyptic Affairs  (2000, Supernal)

The skull:
This album has four different covers that the owner can choose to display. Fleurety were prescient enough to understand that there would someday be a blog that fetishized skull album covers, making sure one of the cover choices featured a skull. Naturally they would want a piece of this action. What’s happening here is pretty simple: a grenade is cock-blocking the skull’s big moment in the spotlight. Skull thought he’d be the envy of all his skull friends, but nope, this asshole grenade nudged into the shot at the last minute. And who’s gonna argue with a grenade?

The music:
This album is just barely metal, residing on the genre’s outer fringes in what we might as well call the “avant-garde.” Fleurety’s early material remains some of the best and most interesting Norwegian black metal ever recorded, and with the EP that precedes this album (1999’s Last-Minute Lies), the Fleurety duo did what most good Norwegian black metal bands do — they went weird. The resulting follow-up, Department of Apocalyptic Affairs, is perhaps the weirdest of the Norwegian post-black metal oddities, at least of the listenable ones. (Zweizz is probably the weirdest, but that’s so over-the-edge weird that it’s easy to disregard as pure junk. Zweizz is one-half of the Fleurety duo, by the way.) At its best, this is akin to Arcturus in the second album era (La Masquerade Infernale) stretching into the territory of Ulver’s fourth (The Marriage of Heaven and Hell) with a desire to rid themselves of the metal altogether and worship at the altar of Bjork and the weirdest of Radiohead’s b-sides. But it’s never quite as good as that sounds on paper. At its worst, it’s an incoherent mess, as heard on opener “Exterminators.” Yet my enthusiasm (fuck it, I’ll call it like it is: it’s total lust) for this whole movement makes the whole thing endearing despite its faults. Pretty amazing cast of guest performers too: key members of Arcturus, Ulver, Ved Buens Ende, Virus, Mayhem, Winds, and Beyond Dawn. It’s a really nice package as well, with all those different covers and a nifty folder that houses individual cards for each song, credits, and pictures. Thanks to the Discogs.com marketplace I finally picked up a real copy, an item that had been high on my want-list for a long time (I don’t totally remember why I didn’t buy it when it was first released). I probably won’t display the cover with the teddy bear and the grenade — will probably go with the skull panel. That seems the natural choice, but I must admit I’m being tempted by the lemon grenade cover (lemon-nade?).
— Friar Wagner

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HATESPHERE, The Killing EP  (2005, Steamhammer)

The skull:
“That logo look tasteeee, me want to eeeeat!!!” says Cookie Monster-inspired skull Logo Monster. He eats nothing but logos, and finds the Danish ones especially delicious. “Chomp chomp chomp, nom nom nom,” he grunts as he eats. [Observant readers will note that yesterday’s skull, and, incidentally, a Hatesphere-related band, also features a cover with rays emanating from the skull. Apparently Danish metal bands are into rays emanating from skulls. We can offer no reasonable explanation for this.]

The music:
I had very little liking for groove/macho/aggro metal before starting Big Dumb Skulls, and have even less tolerance for it now. Seems these sorts of bands default to the skull more often than most other metal sub-genres. Not surprising, given that its founded on unoriginality and junior high-level subject matter. Oh, “Murderous Intent” is about “revenge” and “vengeance” you remind me?! I see, yes. And “You’re the Enemy” is about retribution. Okay. And I see “The Will of God” is about corrupt priests. So perhaps I’ve been too harsh on Hatesphere, who are clearly treading original ground here. Except for the cover song, “Trip at the Brain” (Suicidal Tendencies), but hey, great choice, that’s a classic.

Come on, I’m being sarcastic. This is lame metal for dumb jocks. They may call it “death/thrash,” but it’s just as easily categorized in the groove/macho/aggro slot. While it’s delivered quite competently, it’s about as exciting as any given Carnal Forge album. Seriously, does anyone really like this kind of sub-sub-sub Pantera-meets-The Haunted-meets-metalcore kinda stuff? There’s a copy on Amazon for one dollar and 35 cents, but even that is way too much to pay.
— Friar Wagner

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THE KANDIDATE, Facing the Imminent Prospect of Death  (2012, Napalm)

The skull:
There’s a kind of alchemical transformation happening in this scene. The skull was laid to rest in a casket he could barely fit into, but that’s incidental to what then occurred: the wood of the coffin disintegrated into negative space, a kind of black hole right here on Earth, and the bone of the skull transformed to wood. It all went down for reasons only a wizard of alchemy can explain. The beams seen emanating from the casket are the alchemical forces at work. In this bizarre phenomenon they are always invisible, like radio waves, but rendered visibile here for artistic purposes. It’s hard to tell by his expression if the skull is slap-happy about all of this or scared right down to the tits.

The music:
Heavily tattooed bands with short hair wearing baseball caps and metal t-shirts don’t necessarily sound like Pantera and other jump-metal superstars. But usually that’s the case. I’m already concerned — before even listening to this album — that I’m not very qualified to review thug/aggro/jump metal, mallcore and other associated lunacy. But let’s start with the t-shirts, because there’s some hope here: they like Slayer, Disfear and Trap Them. Once I finally got around to listening to this album I understand that they’re very good at what they’re doing. Maybe even excellent. I’m being totally objective here — it’s not my thing at all, but maybe it’s yours? This is modern metal that’s not quite thrash and not quite death and while it could appeal to the Pantera crowd, it doesn’t totally pander to that audience. If you can imagine Konkhra jamming with Desultory when both bands were deeply embedded in their groove phases, you’d have The Kandidate. If you’re a huge Hatesphere fan, it might cause you spasms of joy to know that Jacob Bredahl is singing here, but is anybody really a huge Hatesphere fan? Nah, not for me, but considering they also boast members of Thorium and Withering Surface, I guess I kinda have to admire their work in the Danish brown metal trenches all these years. [To the observant Big Dumb Skulls reader: you might note we reviewed Trap Them yesterday and Hatesphere is coming tomorrow, and that both are mentioned above. Total coincidence. Thank you for your patronage.]
— Friar Wagner

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TRAP THEM, Seance Prime  (2007, Deathwish Inc.)

The skull:
We’ve looked at a ton of skulls in the past couple years, real and imagined, and rarely have we seen such humongous eye holes. They’re so big they look like the skull-world equivalent of bifocals, which then makes me think of Trailer Park Boys character Bubbles, which then renders this skull totally not fearsome anymore. And look at that boy gnawin’ on all those peppermint Chicklets. Dude’s got no worries.

The music:
This Seattle band have been hotly tipped by hipsters and real fans of extreme music alike since their first recordings began circulating in 2007. One of the most interesting things about them is that they feature Brian Izzi on guitar, who was in a band called December Wolves many moons ago. D. Wolves recorded one album of wanna-be Scandi-black metal and then two albums of feral, futuristic black/death/grind (1998’s Completely Dehumanized is an album I’d recommend for the curious and adventurous reader). It’s no wonder Izzi ended up in a band as ridiculously intense as Trap Them. While these guys lean too heavily on the crust/hardcore side of things for my personal tastes, it’s one of those things where you can only sit back and admire them for what they are. Because for the sort of vicious grind/crust they’re cranking out, it’s hard to imagine many bands doing it much better right now. Lots of respect to them for their music, because it sounds so goddamn real. It truly does sound frightening and truly does sound like it’s recorded by clincially insane serial killers and other highly volatile sociopaths. This 5-song, 16-minute EP is my first and so far only experience with Trap Them, but I can’t imagine their newer stuff sounds too much different.
— Friar Wagner

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KITTIE, I’ve Failed You  (2011, E1 Music)

The skull:
Aesthetically this has a goth rock sort of feel, what with the roses (which are starting to dry up) and the feathers (which I’m assuming are not attached to the bird anymore, and also starting to dry up). And the skull, which is also something once living now dead. It’s a fairly well put together image, if on the generic/predictable side of skull covers. And that’s an interesting parallel to what this band is doing, musically.

The music:
I’ve successfully avoided listening to the music of Kittie since their inception. They’re one of those late ’90s bands that started out playing nu metal and then realized how crappy nu metal is and have since branched out to find their own style. It can be done, and sometimes a former nu metal band turns into a fantastic one; a couple post-nu units — Dredg and Deftones — count among the the greatest bands of recent times (the former having the good sense to drop the “nu” as early as their demo stage). Can Kittie do it? They claim influence from Pantera, Testament, Carcass, At the Gates, Acid Bath, Van Halen and Metallica, and you can hear all of that in I’ve Failed You. The album isn’t as horrible as I expected. The worst of it sounds like Sonic Syndicate fronted by Arch Enemy’s Angel Gossow, and that’s pretty awful. But there’s more variety than that would suggest. It’s like a survey of all popular heavy music since the grunge era: the Alice In Chains-esque “What Have I Done,” latter-day In Flames vibes with “We Are the Lamb,” and Trivium-esqe guitar work on “Empires (Part 2).” It’s performed well, showing them to be a highly competent group of gals, but there’s also a lack of authenticity, like they’re too-deliberately trying to please everyone, coming off with a passionless factory assembly line sort of feel. Some of it, like “Come Undone,” couldn’t be more generic in its psuedo-Gothenburg-isms, and I wouldn’t want to be caught dead listening to the emo-junk of “Never Come Home.” It’s not all bad, and I’m almost embarrassed to admit that, but when something like “Ugly” gets past its first few horrible minutes to lay out a seriously brooding atmosphere and some excellent guitar work, I have to get over myself and offer credit where it’s due. Overall, though, it panders way too much to the extreme metal mainstream — as such a thing exists — for me to feel much attachment to. And it’s not compelling me to return once I’ve done my duty of reviewing it for Big Dumb Skulls. But I will give Kittie a smidgen more credit than I might have about 90 minutes ago.
— Friar Wagner

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INSIDEAD, Chaos Elecdead  (2011, Massacre)

The skull:
The very definition of “passionless art.” A skull. With fangs. Steely gray. Symmetrical. Flanked by wings, bones and bird skulls. (The Council have ruled that this does not violate the “no skulls” rule, as only human skulls are under consideration for Big Dumb Skulls.) Zero style, zero meaning. It looks a lot like 45 other covers of albums also released on Massacre Records in the last 5 years.

The music:
If there’s one thing I hate more than crappy skull covers like this one, it’s the “name game” so many bands play. For instance, Skinlab album title reVoltingRoom, or The Gathering’s if_then_else. Insidead do this too and prefer that their name be written thusly: InsIDeaD. Apparently this is some sort of cleverness having to do with the id part of the brain. And if there’s something I hate more than the name game, it’s silly metal portmanteaus, such as “Elecdead” in this album title (ie. “elected”) or that already-forgotten Swedish band Construcdead (“constructed”) and their genius album title Violadead (“violated”). There are others, but these are some of the ones that use the word “dead.” And if there’s one thing I hate more than these silly metal portmanteaus it’s crappy modern metal that sounds like a mixture of latter-day Sepultura and any day Pantera with tons of breakdowns and the obligatory “motherfucker!” yelp. The band describes their music as “a mixture of heavy, thrash and death core elements with a modern touch.” No wonder. Just wait till you hear the ballad “Time,” which sounds like Nickelback covering Metallica’s “The Unforgiven” with a heavy Greek accent. The latter they cannot help, but everything else is a voluntary exercise in generic modern metal, and Chaos Elecdead (it hurts just to type it) is possibly the most uninteresting and pointless album I’ve had to listen to during these skull excavations thus far.
— Friar Wagner

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EXTIRPATED, Decomposition & Decay  (2011, Pathologically Explicit Recordings)

The skull:
While we’re pretty hard on computer artists ’round the world here at BDS — due to the many amateurish, hokey ideas they’re attempting to pass off as “art” — sometimes computer-generated cover art does okay. And I suppose this one qualifies as “okay.” You do get a sense of decomposition and decay, the red colors authentically recalling blood and that spine in the lower left corner doing well enough to convey “decay.” The skull itself, well, the guy is not having the best day and it doesn’t look like he’s ever going to recover from this fate. What we seem to be looking at is a human head being stripped of his flesh and blood real quick. Probably by pestilential winds or some shit. I cannot explain the gold dubloon stuck in his left eye, however. It’s all very perplexing.

The music:
Man, it feels like just yesterday I was bitching about the fact that there are three bands who have recently recorded under the name Extirpation. (It was actually two days ago.) Now we have Extirpated from Sweden. Lots of destroyin’ goin’ on under the auspices of fancy words ‘n’ such. But I don’t know if these young Swedes are as much musical geniuses as they are clever wordsmiths. Because this is garbage. Now, taking influence from Dying Fetus isn’t necessarily the worst place you can go for inspiration, but it’s probably not going to result in any originality whatsoever. (The band covers D.F.’s tender “Kill Your Mother, Rape Your Dog” here.) But really, this is exactly like 472 other bands I’ve heard that sound exactly like this. Redundancy incarnate. As with many of these sort of gore/porn death metal albums, it’s mercifully short (22 minutes), but after the lead-off tracks “Captain Syphillis” and “Clit Commander,” the unfunny joke doesn’t get any less unfunny. A total waste of time, and a total waste of okay cover art. “BREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! BREE BREE BRREEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!”
— Friar Wagner

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DOGBANE, Residual Alcatraz  (2011, Heaven and Hell)

The skull:
Sometimes a skull can’t win. They don’t really have a say in the modeling jobs they get, at least, not at this level, and I’m pretty sure this guy hated every minute he had to pose for this winner of a portrait. He’s likely too macho to appreciate the Apocynum that surround him (they look like lilacs but are toxic, which I guess is why these dudes thought this was a great band name), but it was the tattooing of that lame band name on his forehead, in some sort of last-minute non-logo design, that really got him upset. Then he looked down at the album title and got so hot under the collar he lost his shit (ie. spontaneous combustion): “Residual Alcatraz? What the flying fuck is that supposed to mean???” He was given no answer, was paid his $20, and got outta there, hoping for a gig with Black Label Society next time around.

The music:
Dogbane’s music isn’t much better than their chintzy album cover art, lame band name and super-dumb album title. They sound like Demolition-era Judas Priest meets any given NWOBHM band’s mediocre “comeback” album (there are lots — take your pick)…but clunkier (look no further than the mess of second song, “Born to Die”). I love traditional heavy metal when it’s done right, which usually means the old stuff, before it got old enough to recycle. And it’s this sort of recycling that bands like Dogbane specialize in. I know: good songs are good songs, and it doesn’t necessarily have to be original if you’ve got ’em. Unfortunately Dogbane doesn’t got ’em.
— Friar Wagner

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EXTIRPATION, Tormentor Supreme Black Katharsis  (2010, Infernal Chaos Productions)

The skull:
Marking our 400th skull in our run up to 666, we can only go with the most bad-ass looking skull in the Skullection. While the fanged lower jaw is fearsome, especially since it’s held in a kind of dish of larger fangs which seem to be ripping the mandible away from the maxilla, it’s the horns that do it. The three pairs of horns are humongous, all twisty and thick, but they don’t look like they’d be good for protection or attack — except for maybe repelling aggressors on the periphery. And, okay, I’m dancing around the true awesomeness here: the two largest horns each have lots of baby horns growing out of them. I’d like to think in 17 years they’ll be mature and as big as the main horns they’re sprouting from, and that this guy will look like a groteseque tangle of tentacled bone that you’d be tempted to shoot at point blank range and put out of his misery. (His neck problems alone would be too much to bear!) Or maybe they’re just little bony spurs or spikes which are dormant and will not get any bigger. I could talk about this skull’s amazing anatomy forever.

The music:
You know there are way, way too many metal bands out there when there are three bands in the 2000s who have recorded material under the name Extirpation. Or, to be less pessimistic:  you know all the good band names are taken when there are three bands who have recorded material under the name Extirpation. So, what does this one-man death/black metal band have to offer besides an amazingly horny skull cover? Would you believe one-man death/black metal? It’s fast as hell, inhumanly so, and that’s why this guy uses a drum machine, because there’s no way a human being could play this, at least not this kind of sustained, unyielding flurry of blasts. And Extirpation really leans more on the death metal side. I can’t help but think of Mortician as this nonsensically-titled album flies by. The drum machine and vocals are dead-ringers for Mortician — I also hear some Von and Pillard-era Incantation in the vocals — but Mortician never utilized the kind of riffing technicality that exists here. It’s not Necrophagist or Obscura technical, but for sick, morbid, ugly, fast-as-shit death metal, the riffs are the only semi-sophisticated thing happening in an otherwise primitive landscape. I enjoy this to some degree, the same part of me that digs Nuclear Death, Rottrevore, Disembowelment and such, but Extirpation are ridiculously one-dimensional and it gets old quickly (like Mortician). You can bet we’re pleased as punch that the one man in this one-man band goes by the name of Skullcrushed.
— Friar Wagner