SKULL432

Posted on March 8, 2014 by Friar Wagner

WEREWOLF DIVISION, Nobody Lives Forever (2013, self-released)

The skull:
There’s this thing out there called the “law of attraction.” You focus on something consistently enough, and it will come. “Like attracts like.” It’s a bit like praying, and I don’t put much stock in it, but I’ve been talking about skulls with fangs a lot lately, and now I have a surfeit of them. Only a few skulls ago, 423 to be exact, I was marveling at the teeth on that guy. But, just like that, Skull432 comes moseying along and outfangs everybody. (“Outfangs” isn’t a word, you say? Is now. FTW.) This cover looks like it would belong to some hipster sludge or black metal band (ie. San Fran black/sludge), but it’s a deathcore band from Russia. What a world.

The music:
Whenever I hear the phrase “nobody lives forever,” I think of the immortal words from Hallows Eve, the ones that follow that titular phrase: “I try not to slip on my sweat.” Great lyric. But Werewolf Division don’t sound a damn thing like Hallows Eve. They’ve probably never even heard of Hallows Eve. No, Werewolf Division are one for young girls into Bring Me the Horizon. These Russians wear Bring Me the Horizon and Veil of Maya shirts too. It could be worse, of course, and they sound totally legit in their chosen musical field, but, to my ears, that’s a terrible choice. I could not get through this whole album, I’ll admit, not because it’s way too heavy or the performances and writing are poor…it’s just a style of music that only reminds me that the minutes are ticking by too quickly and I ain’t got a lot of time on this planet. Life’s too short and all that. I stand accused of skipping most of this album. Anyone upset about that, please take a look at the concept of this blog and get back to me about how I’m shirking my journalistic duties by not breaking down all the nuances of Nobody Lives Forever to provide exhaustive analysis on what I found in seven different passes through the material. I might listen to your gripe, but probably not. I’m in this for the skulls.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL430

Posted on March 6, 2014 by Friar Wagner

TOTENKOPF, Fuck With Noise! (1991, demo)

The skull:
“Totenkopf” means “skull and crossbones” in German, basically. How can we not feel good about these Poles’ decision to name themselves thusly? The word and skull/crossbones design has a link to the Nazi regime, but that’s obviously not the agenda here. And boy, this skull is getting a good bashing-in. It gives me a headache to look at it. Dude’s getting brained like no skull’s ever been brained before! Apparently this is what happens to you if you fuck with noise.

The music:
Stuck in a demo loop, this Friar is, although this one proved too obscure to show its ugly face. I know it’s happened to the good Friar Johnsen a couple times (who’s actually better at finding deeply-hidden obscurities than I), but this is the first time I’ve been unable to locate music on a B.D.S. submission. All I found was an old dead-end Youtube link for the song “P.S.O.O.C. (Paradise System Out of Control).” Considering this demo is just over 21 minutes and features 11 songs plus an intro, and they’re described as “death/grind” on Metal Archives, and they wear Terrorizer and Napalm Death shirts, you can pretty much guess what it’s derivative of. I’ll bet Century Media looked at signing them for half a second, figured the name was too politically incorrect, passed on them, and swung all the way to the other side and signed Rumble Militia. (This doesn’t conform to the historical timeline exactly, but work with me here, okay?)
— Friar Wagner

SKULL428

Posted on March 4, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DIAVE, Akatastasia (1998, demo)

The skull:
Well, it’s not the worst piece of computer-generated skull art we’ve ever seen. If you look closely, and use your imagination just a tiny bit, you can imagine strings of dental floss hanging from the skull’s uppers. Even in death, even in a lightning storm after death, flossing is so important. As that poster on your dentist’s wall says: “You don’t have to floss all of your teeth…just the ones you want to keep!”

The music:
The list of chintzy gothic/death/doom bands from mid ’90s Europe is endless. Enchantment…Cemetery of Scream…As Serenity Fates…Castle…Jesus, kill me now. I love the Peaceville Three and various others in that vein, but what My Dying Bride, Paradise Lost and Anathema started in the early ’90s is not only un-toppable, but unfortunately became a playground for lesser bands to drag through the mud of crappy vocals, cheesy productions, dinky keyboards, and horrible wailing opera wenches. This long-forgotten Polish band were one of the most unremarkable of this sordid lot, but remark I shall. Diave are fourth-tier at best. Ham-fisted thematic guitar lines, ham-fisted drumming…ham-fisted everything. Can singing and production also be ham-fisted? If so, Diave commit these atrocities as well. They not only give a bad name to the gothic/death/doom genre, but also to hams and fists.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL426

Posted on March 2, 2014 by Friar Wagner

PAX MORTIS, My Belief (1993, demo)

The skull:
Is there really a second piece of death metal artwork from 1993 that places some skeletal feature inside a peace sign? You will, of course, remember Heartwork by Carcass. You will probably not, however, remember My Belief by Pax Mortis. Still, they have something in common in regards to their artwork concepts. The Pax Mortis cover art features a skull placed over a peace sign in considerably less artistic fashion than the spinal column thing used by Carcass and H.R. Giger. But hey, Pax Mortis probably couldn’t afford the likes of Giger, so give ’em a break. And what is their “belief” exactly? It’s difficult to suss out based on the artwork alone, but I’m guessing they believe in peace yet are expressing disappointment that skulls keep disturbing that peace for everybody else. Could that be it? I don’t have a whole lot to go on here, people.

The music:
This band’s profile seemed fairly high in the heady underground death metal demo days of 1992/1993. Listening to My Belief, I can’t quite figure out why. The sound quality is worse than the norm, even for back then, and the vocal shouts are way too overblown. The dudes exhibit terrific command of their instruments, admittedly, but the arrangements are haphazard, as if written by someone with extreme Attention Deficit Disorder. While it probably sounded innovative in 1993, all those acoustic interludes and symphonic (keyboard-generated) passages seem a novelty, bits crammed in where they just don’t fit. The proverbial square peg in a round hole. Pax Mortis are, rather unsurprisingly, forgotten today, and while their ambition is noted, as is their stance on animal rights — two things I’ll always award a few extra points for — Pax Mortis were semi-interesting while they lasted, but nothing more. Please note that the title track is not a cover of the Possessed song, even if that would have been sorta cool.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL424

Posted on February 28, 2014 by Friar Wagner

DEMONIC RAGE / EXCORIATE, Death Communion split (2008, Rawblackult Productions)

The skull:
If skull 423 had Cletus-teeth, this guy is his brother Darryl. Had the “artist” of this masterpiece blacked out these two central incisors, it might have been a more morbid-looking image. But then the skull itself might have raised objections: “Them’s the only choppers I’s got!” What’s more, he already has enough crap to worry about, having gotten two death metal logos spraypainted on his head while he was passed out on the couch at the party.

The music:
Two Chilean death metal bands, one cassette tape, 11 songs, 333 copies, and a handful of Incantation-esque song titles (“Everlasting Plagues of Nauseous Wickedness,” “The Beginning of the Apocalyptic Enlightenment”). Excoriate have a relatively cleaner sound than their split-mates, theirs a choppy, speedy, no-frills death metal attack that veers into the most insane, violent realms of old-school thrash. They sound authentically 1990, and if they had actually been around back then I have no doubt their tapes would have carried the Wild Rags logo (what with the ping-ing snare and all). Demonic Rage are, technically, probably the better band. Their approach is a ridiculously heavy one, suffocatingly dense and much crueler than Excoriate. It’s no wonder they’ve managed a fairly prolific output while their split buddies have faded into the crowded realms of death metal’s also-rans. Too bad, because Excoriate appeal to me more with their out-of-time aura, but they’re not so good to waste any time in mourning.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL423

Posted on February 27, 2014 by Friar Wagner

NECROMANTIA, Vampiric Rituals (1992, demo)

The skull:
Huge eye sockets, huge nasal cavity, big “Call me Cletus” teeth, and some of the most bad-ass looking fangs we’ve yet seen on a skull. Fangs-on-skull usually look goofy or lamely tacked on by an amateur computer “artist,” but these…yeah, I’d run the other way if I saw these white spikes of doom gnashing away, lusting for any part of my flesh. However, this is rendered less threatening by the symbol on the forehead. Designed properly, it may have added to all the evil intent, but really it just looks like a sticker from a Flash Gordon playset slapped onto his forehead. These album covers are great, the ones that take the album title and hope to reflect that title super-literally. Vampire fangs + Ritual-esque symbol on forehead = Vampiric Rituals!

The music:
The one and only “they have two bass players” black metal band from Greece. This is their second release (which actually combines two different recordings, from 1990 and 1991). Unsurprisingly it’s quite the raw ride. When they play fast, as in parts of “The Feast of Ghouls,” it’s absolutely feral despite its clumsiness. Paired with the diseased vocals it paints a bleak, creepy picture. The drumming is hilariously bad throughout, and even those bassists are a bit sketchy, but they certainly sounded more accomplished as quickly as the next year’s debut album. Too many “ooh, aren’t we a spooky lot?” keyboard parts throughout this 39-minute demo, but you have to give them credit for conjuring a vibe here, that vibe particular to the early ’90s Greek scene — strange, morbid, raw, earnest and with a certain charm. The final track, “La Mort,” is especially strange, sounding not unlike some basement recording of a dark Italian prog rock band with drunken Uncle Giorgio having taken over the mic to perform his best/worst Dracula impression. Unsettling and funny at the same time. Whether it’s Rotting Christ, Varathron or Necromantia, their ideas were more ambitious than their skills would allow in their early forms, but they did the best they could, and you have to give them each credit for their ability to craft otherworldly atmospheres. The material on this recording is a bit stiff, a bit cold, a bit low-rent, but that may be what Necromantia were going for, and it’s definitely what a ton of NWN!-worshipping kids in suburbs all over the globe will eat up these days, if packaged properly (ie. deluxe “blood pack” red vinyl with thick 54-page booklet, limited to 100 hand-numbered copies. Preferably.).
— Friar Wagner

SKULL418

Posted on February 22, 2014 by Friar Wagner

RAHOWA, Cult of the Holy War (1995, Resistance)

The skull:
I was sitting around on the 4th floor of the Big Dumb Skulls compound, chatting it up with a spokesperson for the Council, when we both realized it had been too long since we’d enjoyed a skull with a snake weaving in and out of it. Could it be that we last saw it with Skull149 (Kataklysm)? Then we started talking about the old days, all the way back to Skull4 (Sword). Then we opened our eleventh bottles of some strong Belgian ale and marveled at this cover, the mighty Skull418, which has that slightly pornographic motif we were looking for: a skull penetrated in several holes at the same time by one mean looking serpent. Then the spokesperson started sobbing uncontrollably about how much he wishes the Council would come around on the S.O.D. Speak English or Die skull (currently in the rejected pile) and then I blacked out.

The music:
I remember all the controversy about this band (and label, and magazine) back in the mid ’90s, but avoided the music because there’s even less great white supremacist metal out there than great Christian metal. But I also remember hearing that this album was a “masterpiece,” something that even people outside the band’s political realm were claiming. I still didn’t check it out, but noted the reverence. Now that all’s said and done with Rahowa, I feel okay listening to this album via Youtube. The first thing that strikes me are the vocals. They vary from clean folk-ish choir vocals to gruff, semi-sung passages that recall the worst of Tim from Pyogenesis (a band I have much affection for, despite Tim’s occasional silliness). In fact, many moments in Cult of the Holy War remind of Sweet X-Rated Nothings, or maybe those Cemetary albums when the band was steering its death metal into more gothic areas. I even hear that orchestral/gothic post-metal feel of mid ’90s Tiamat and Paradise Lost in spots. Another way to frame what Rahowa’s doing is to call it “post-Bloody Kisses” (look no further than “Hall of the Heroes” and “The Last Battalion” for two particularly blatant Type O Negative ripoffs). There’s also a strong presence of gang chants and a decidedly folky flavor to the music, which probably provides a link to Rahowa’s Oi! roots and might appeal to people who like junk like Korpiklaani, but what the hell do I know about Oi! or Korpiklaani? Not much! Lyrically it’s obsessed with the idea of white power, making Cult of the Holy War the least-angry metal album of its type, at least that I’ve heard. Despite the fact that their philosophy is fucked, I appreciate the sensitivity they show on something like ballad “In the Fires of 1945.” Some of this is positively upbeat, and hey, I guess there’s something to be said for not giving a worse name to white power bands. Ultimately there’s a ton of variety here, and some of it is even truly good, although the bad stuff is hilariously bad (“Anvil of Crom” = Manowar circa Gods of War). For every good moment there’s a shoddy off-key vocal or some clunky rhythm that makes you wish they’d used a drum machine. And really, this is no masterpiece. It is, in fact, for all its ambition, quite a mess. Too many ideas, too many directions, too many cooks, really, without the ability to tie it all together cohesively. There’s a serious lack of self-editing skill here, too, as if every single idea they had for the album went onto the album. The white power thing is something band leader (and founder of the Resistance label and magazine) George Eric Hawthorne completely turned away from and now denounces. Apparently he’s now in a band with Jewish and black people called Novacosm, and good for him. Hopefully the music’s better than what’s on offer within Cult of the Holy War, but this at least has several interesting moments.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL416

Posted on February 20, 2014 by Friar Wagner

KRANK, Ugly Right to the Bone (2010, Retrospective)

The skull:
I’d like to think that this skull is sporting a gold earring in its left, uh, “ear.” The bone of the skull may be deteriorating, and the cause of death is obvious (those look like bullet holes skidding along the top of his dome) but the earring remains to communicate to one and all: “Even in death I am a cheeseball.” Yes, I’d like to think it’s an earring and not some gold hole in the metal plate(s) behind him, so I’m gonna go with it.

The music:
Like so many other metal fans, I have a deep affinity for classic ’80s era Metal Blade. Not just the many great bands they signed, but the artwork (good and bad), the compilations, even the simple label design on the old vinyl records (first tan, then silver). Hugely nostalgic and still totally relevant. Krank’s Hideous is not one of Metal Blade’s finer moments. In fact, it’s one of its worst. (I know — I bought it in 1986, which was, perhaps not incidentally, the year I stopped buying absolutely everything Metal Blade released.) There isn’t a more aptly-titled album either. Fast forward nearly 25 years and we find Krank peddling that same clanky, go-nowhere metal that’s about as appealing as the idea of sucking a hermaphrodite’s cock in an alley behind L.A.’s Gazzari’s while a totally smashed-on-whisky Nitro plays inside. If there was ever a band that had no business attempting to regain its former non-glory, Krank is it. This album is nearly unlistenable. If you want to hear a vocalist that makes Vince Neil sound like Pavarotti and a band that write tunes so insipid it makes Girls Girls Girls sound like Dark Side of the Moon, you might want to check out Krank immediately! Finally, in my delving of metal’s grossest gutters, looking for a copy of Ugly Right to the Bone to listen to, someone on Youtube, apparently without any irony, says “Krank has always been one of my favorite metal bands.” Seriously, that’s what they said. You can’t make that shit up.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL414

Posted on February 18, 2014 by Friar Wagner

HAWAII, Loud, Wild and Heavy (1984, Important)

The skull:
Marty Friedman and company heard there was a skull out there with a birthmark that looks uncannily like the Hawaii island chain. They were like “We must have that guy immediately for our album cover.” They sent out a carrier vulture (such are the communications fowl in Hawaii) and it came back with this bad-ass looking skull. Mission accomplished. As for the flower, it could probably pass as the state flower (Hawaiian hibiscus). Kinda surprising they didn’t try to fit palm trees or a picture of Don Ho into the artwork, but we get it: you’re called Hawaii and you’re from Hawaii. Very novel, boys.

The music:
My first impression of Hawaii was through Aloha on Metal Massacre 2 and then Hawaii’s 1983 One Nation Underground album. Both struck me as scrappy and I never ventured further with this band. I didn’t listen to them again until my duties at Big Dumb Skulls found me face-to-face with the successor to One Nation Underground, this four-song EP. Loud, Wild and Heavy is solid enough, but it’s hardly great. It’s just one degree more metal than early Motley Crue, and might as well be one of those California bands like Crue, Ratt or Black ‘N’ Blue who toed the line between glammy hard rock and dirty Sunset strip heavy metal a la early Armored Saint and Odin. Vocalist Eddie Day talk-sings and sometimes growls his way through these standard-issue trad-metal tunes with attitude, and the musicians are tight, their delivery strong, their capabilities notable. There are some cool proto-power metal guitar lines in the middle of the title track; the chorus of “Escape the Night” sounds like something Dawnbringer might come up with; and instrumental “Rhapsody in Black” presages the symphonic power metal that would absolutely erupt out of Europe a decade later. Still, there were so many other better, more interesting releases that came out of the early/mid ’80s traditional heavy metal movement that this remains second rate. Yes, Marty Friedman graduated from junior high school janitor to Ivy League professor when he jumped from Hawaii to Megadeth. (Yes, I know about Cacophony in between, but then my stupid scholastic analogy is ruined.)
— Friar Wagner

SKULL412

Posted on February 16, 2014 by Friar Wagner

MOSFET, Deathlike Thrash ‘N’ Roll (2012, Refused)

The skull:
Uh oh. This one snuck past the Council’s normally very strict standards. We can clearly see there is more than one skull here. Perhaps the four in the corners were considered so much a decorative part of the border that they were dismissed as mere accoutrement. I don’t know. Somebody’s slipping over there, but I’m not one to criticize the Council so I shall refrain any further comment before they demote me from Friar to Janitor. The skull here, the main one, he’s a shit-kickin’ dust-dog! Smokin’, grinnin’, squintin’, replete with cowboy hat, wings, blood spatter and crossbones. Tattoo-ready! Too bad about the lame band name, but you can tell your tattoo artist to just skip that part. And you’ll save money too.

The music:
Seriously? Are you seriously a deathlike thrash ‘n’ roll band that called your second album Deathlike Thrash ‘n’ Roll??? Mosfet, thank you so much for saving me time! What a lucky break. Here I was, tired of handing out negative reviews to all these mediocre bands and thought “I’m gonna give this Mosfet a little gift and review their album in a totally objective manner, not telling how it is, but only what it is.” But they already did that. Time to kick my feet up and sip on a pina colada from a hollowed-out coconut and take a snooze in the ol’ hammock. Love ya, Mosfet! (Okay, I did listen to the album, couldn’t resist, and stylistically it bears a few similarities to mid-era Sodom, around Masquerade in Blood and Get What You Deserve, and they deliver it professionally enough. It is, indeed, deathlike thrash ‘n’ roll.)
— Friar Wagner