SKULL450

Posted on March 26, 2014 by Friar Wagner

BLACKLIST, The Sign of 4 (1984, self-released)

The skull:
This is one of the earliest examples of the “worried skull,” a curious motif we see occasionally here at Big Dumb Skulls HQ. Why he worry? Perhaps because the band put four iron crosses on the cover, and the skull didn’t realize until too late that this might draw accusations of Nazism toward the band. And that casts a bad light on the skull by proxy. A skull’s got a reputation to uphold, right? And how was he ever going to land that big deal with Krokus that was all the gossip in skull circles that year? Ultimately, he didn’t get the gig — Krokus wanted an eyeless skull, and this guy wasn’t willing to have them gouged out. And his crossbones were deemed too dinky for Marc Storace and company. Or maybe the skull’s worried look (and that particularly sunken right eye) is due to the zap of highly charged static electricty we see hovering around him. Either way, none of this worry and mild shock were worth this bullshit minimum wage gig.

The music:
Yet another of those independently-released US metal records from the ’80s that goes for hundreds of dollars on eBay, mostly to Greek kids. And, as with so much of this era’s bands, it could have easily wound up on one of the early Metal Massacre compilations. They wouldn’t have been a highlight of the comp, but they wouldn’t have been the worst. The riffs here are uniformly average, the choruses typical, and the overall vibe “ho-hum.” On the plus side, there are some good guitar leads from Jon Rogue, and occasionally, as in “Steady on the Steel,” he reels off a glory-crammed thematic melody line. All of his work on “Revenge” is excellent. Vocalist Mark Holz is interesting, too. He sounds like a throatier, huskier Vince Neil on “Confrontation,” although not tone deaf and flat-out shitty (Vince Neil is the worst), while his raspy delivery on “Steady on the Steel” finds him mashing up Mark Shelton and Mark Tornillo, thought it’s not quite as weird or ridiculous as that combo seems on paper. This also gets a few extra points for the recording job, which is cleaner, brighter, heavier and much less scrappy than the typical release of this kind. So, Blacklist has a few noteworthy and even impressive elements, but it’s pointless to spread delicious icing on stale cake. This EP is worth a listen, but probably not worth $300, which I’ll bet you $300 it has sold for to some fanatic in Greece.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL448

Posted on March 24, 2014 by Friar Wagner

HAMMER HEAD, Rock Forever (1987, Power Outage)

The skull:
The dudes in Tacoma’s Hammer Head were sitting around one rainy day in 1987 chugging cans of Olympia beer and listening to Thor when they came up with the metalhead’s alternative to the Rock, Paper, Scissors game. They called it Rock, Hammer, Skull, and while the specifics of the rules are still being hammered out (no pun intended) decades later, they do know that the outcome of the game is always the same: rock wins, because rock is forever. As seen from the panel of the game instructions the band used for their album cover, it has been determined that hammer smashes skull. We’re not sure what the official game rules state regarding the specific powers and weaknesses of the skull, but we’re pretty sure they’ll be releasing the final rules booklet for Rock, Hammer, Skull any year now. And please note the innovative use of pink…probably an attempt to attract the women-folk.

The music:
In a nutshell, Hammer Head sounds a lot like Anvil in the Metal Blade years (Strength of Steel, Pound for Pound) without the ability to craft memorable songs. Even the vocals are Lips-esque, here draped in a chilly fog of reverb, just enough to keep it from sounding dry. The drums have a similarly processed/effected sound, while the guitars crank out in standard-issue ’80s heavy metal style without much in the way of unique personality. While Hammer Head’s songs are dull in their composition, the execution gets plus points thanks to the tasty guitar work of Greg Martin. I’ll bet if Mike Shrapnel had heard this guy back in the day, he would have signed Hammer Head based on Martin’s work alone. Certainly not for the songs, but Shrapnel were not always concerned about songs as much as having another kickass guitarist was in the house. A song like “Point Nine” has absolutely nothing going for it other than the lead work, while the title track is a plodder in the vein of Anvil’s “Strength of Steel.” “Stone Cold Crazy” is not the Queen song of the same name; it sounds like Ultimate Sin-era Ozzy in the verses, and, again, Anvil in the chorus. “Angel” is a worthless ballad, not because ballads are automatically worthless (they’re not), but because it’s a worthless ballad. “Holocaust” is an acoustic guitar-led semi-epic, but its cock-rock delivery and cheeseball sound effects are not very holocausty. Ultimately Hammer Head should be given credit for attempting to craft a fairly diverse album, but lacking any discernible vision and without much songwriting acumen, they’re doomed to be remembered by the small handful of metal fans who will eat up any US metal band that released an album on a tiny label in the 1980s. Probably goes for $300 on eBay.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL446

Posted on March 22, 2014 by Friar Wagner

THE INNER ABYSS, The Inner Abyss (2011, Sex, Drinks and Metal Records)

The skull:
Years ago, and consistently each Christmas, my crafty mother would create a decoration that was usually placed on an end table. It was a crocheted 3D Santa Claus head, and its enormous beard covered the entire table top. The beard was made of cotton, and if it weren’t so voluminous in its cloudy whiteness, the sight of a beheaded Santa would have been kind of creepy. I cannot help but think of that innocent Christmas decoration when I look at the cover of this debut album from The Inner Abyss. Between the puffy beard of cotton and the “I have a great idea!” light bulb above its head, this skull can’t possibly come off as anything but cute and dorky. Even with all that occult-ish nonsense stamped into its forehead.

The music:
Epic, yes; foreboding, even. And hella fast. These are mostly elongated black metal compositions that blaze forth with remarkable power and precision. The band seems to enjoy repetition as a way to drill their musical mission into your head — not totally in a Krallice-like way, but it’s in a similar wheelhouse — although you get the sense they’re just chasing their tail most the time. The songs, while worthy enough on the surface, fail to develop into anything of interest, and with song lengths averaging around eight-and-a-half minutes, it’s a tiring exercise to absorb. Also, you know a band’s in trouble when the cover song is the best one on the album, and that occurs here (their take on Inquisition’s “Crush the Jewish Prophet” is possibly better than the original — they nail the vocal croaks too). I wish the label had misprinted the title to read “Crush the Jewish Profit.” And speaking of the label, I perhaps got off on the wrong foot here, expecting this German band to sound all fucked up, untight and Brazilian. What they are is a fairly good band, neither scraping the bottom of the black metal barrel nor rising to the heights of the hallowed elite. While I don’t like this album much, I admit to being hugely curious about the three-song follow-up EP they released a week ago, Outer Space. I have a weakness for anything to do with cosmic imagery, and am hoping they sound like Deathspell Omega meets Oxiplegatz these days.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL444

Posted on March 20, 2014 by Friar Wagner

VANHELGD, Church of Death (2011, Nuclear War Now! Productions)

The skull:
There comes a time in a man’s life when he makes certain profound realizations about himself. There comes a time when a man must surrender to cold truths. For this Friar, that time is now: I freaking loving skulls rendered with some kinda crazy dripping shit somewhere in the picture. Like the Thrall skull of last week, or this fine specimen Vanhelgd have blessed us with. Here the dripping is not that of black tears from the sockets, but a treatment to the painting itself. Intentional, ceratinly, but I’d still like to think the artist just finished the piece, set it in the windowsill to dry, and forgot that the weather forecast was for rain. Whatever the origin-story of its creation, this is a very good piece of artwork, and the dripping gives it that extra-morbid vibe. Even the logo drips.

The music:
The lust for old-style death metal continues unabated; it’s probably fair to say it never totally died in Sweden. This is yet another new school/old school Swedish band, and their particular brand of death is (unsurprisingly) similar to early Dismember, (less unsurprisingly) recalls Eucharist, and (as a mandatory ingredient of all good Swedish death) throws obvious hails to early Paradise Lost. This latter influence is especially apparent in “The Final Storm.” It’s a standout feature of Church of Death, and I would also point out the great vocal performance, mostly excellent because there are two distinctive voices here, handled by both guitarists, which helps to color some already dynamic and subtly textured death metal. Another fair point of reference would be Gorement, had they continued to evolve this way instead of going the Cathedral-ish death-rock direction before prematurely disbanding. Vanhelgd turn in a relatively fresh take on an old style, and this is one of the better albums from the new generation of old school bands from this country. It ain’t quite Tribulation, and it certainly can’t touch the great Morbus Chron, but I could see them evolving that way. Their third album is just around the corner…I wonder if a similarly progressive stylistic shift is in store. I kind of hope so, but then again, another album of this sort of thing wouldn’t be entirely unwelcome.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL442

Posted on March 18, 2014 by Friar Wagner

PROCLAMATION, Execration of Cruel Bestiality (2009, Nuclear War Now! Productions)

The skull:
Proclamation can’t decide which way they want their skull to point. We’re back to an anterior view now. The skull’s dome looks a little worse for the wear — although sutures (cracks) are a normal part of skull anatomy, these look exaggerated by age or injury. This time the goat beard has spread longer and wider than seen in the Proclamation skull featured yesterday. Both Friars and the Council are very happy that the top horn is curled around the one growing out of the right side of the skull. Gnarly, literally! We love it so much we’re ignoring what appear to be two other skulls growing from the main skull’s cheekbones. They’re not fully formed enough to disqualify the cover under the “no skulls” rule, and they seem more like earrings or some other other adornment than freestanding skulls in their own right. I’ve said it before, but it bears repeating: this is important!

The music:
Well, Proclamation still sounds like a cross between Blasphemy and Bestial Warlust. And for the first time I hear shades of Beherit, especially in the vocal phrasing. This album, their third, is rawer, bleaker, grimier, and more distant than its predecessor, but geez, how much Proclamation does one need? As a person who owns and worships the entire Nuclear Death discography, I guess I understand, but those guys (and girl) at least, you know, evolved. Perhaps the fourth Proclamation album sounds like a mixture of Blasphemy, Bestial Warlust, Beherit and Queensryche, which would certainly qualify as evolution, but I kinda doubt they’re ever going to do anything new with their sound. Glad I delved into them as much as I have these past few days, though. They’re definitely upholding what Blasphemy started better than any other newer band I’ve heard playing this style. For what that’s worth.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL441

Posted on March 17, 2014 by Friar Wagner

PROCLAMATION, Messiah of Darkness and Impurity (2008, Nuclear War Now! Productions)

The skull:
Here we see a skull transforming from human to goat — be careful, as a full goat skull will disqualify you guys from these halls! Of the three Proclamation skulls in the Skullection, this is the best one. I mean, check out those horns. The two on top seem to be enfolding the darkness, like the arms of a vampire, and that beard is gnarly in all its goatiness. It looks like a waterfall of coarse animal hair. (Do you suppose the word “goatee” came from somebody commenting on another chap’s chin beard, saying, “That chin hair is certainly goaty, sir!”?) And — this is the best part — the skull is growing goat ears. I’ve had goats for real, and those are goat ears if I’ve ever seen goat ears. Of all the skulls I’ve seen with horns, this one is probably the greatest of them all. It’s certainly the goatiest.

The music:
The opening of Messiah of Darkness and Impurity is right off any given early Bathory record. Of course. And while I fully expected Proclamation to continue with their Blasphemy worship on Messiah of Darkness and Impurity and Stuff — and they do to a great degree — there is some evolution here, and that alone is a big surprise. Their sound is still chaotic and frenzied, but the tumult is more focused throughout this album, front-loaded with more brutality and just slightly more modern (it sounds 1996, whereas the first album was more 1990). Though I didn’t hear much Bestial Warlust influence in the first album, I definitely hear it throughout this one. Messiah of Darkness and Impurity and All Kinds of Other Awful Things seems more one-dimensional than its predecessor, with too much emphasis on blasting. That’s all a bunch of hair-splitting, though, because this is still worthy of the Ross Bay Cult and all those who worship Revenge and drink the blood of virgin girls for breakfast and all that fun stuff.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL440

Posted on March 16, 2014 by Friar Wagner

PROCLAMATION, Advent of the Black Omen (2006, Nuclear War Now! Productions)

The skull:
Herewith the Council and your friendly Friars do present a special three-skull installment surveying the artwork of Spain’s Proclamation. This is a band the Council are especially fond of, considering their single-minded dedication to the skull. Of their four full-length albums, all feature a skull. Only the fourth one, 2012’s Nether Tombs of Abaddon, disqualifies itself for inclusion into the Skullection, due to the added ribcage and suggestion of a skeleton beyond the skull itself. But let us rejoice in the three covers that have been inducted, the first one being Advent of the Black Omen. Here we see a human skull adorned with massive curled ram-like horns wrapped around the points of a pentagram. Now, according to our sources and statisticians, we do believe we have seen this exact same motif before…we are holding now for confirmation of its unoriginality…and…wait…and…yes, indeed, we have seen this motif here at BDS headquarters, about 187 times, according to our guys in the truck. We appreciate its dedication to tradition, and please note that the inverted crucifixes, complete with inverted Christ, are a relatively innovative touch.

The music:
Given Proclamation’s rather traditional choices in skull cover artwork, and the repetition across their discography of said choices, we can’t act surprised that the band’s music itself is equally derivative. Considering the issuing label and the band’s image, we should actually hope this sounds a lot like Blasphemy, and sound like Blasphemy it does! Posing in a graveyard, adorned in hundreds of pounds of spikes, chains and molested Catholic crucfixes, this bands look very clearly mirrors their sound: blasphemous, frightening, obnoxious, oppressive, over-the-top, otherworldly, and, let’s face it, ridiculous. Had they originated this style of metal, it would be a lot more impressive, but considering how many generations removed from the original it is, one can only sit in amazement as it blazes by in its crazed rawness, sounding exactly like the missing link between Fallen Angel of Doom and Gods of War. As the only Friar who very much enjoys Blasphemy, Beherit, Sarcofago and the like, I will always have a soft spot for this sort of blasphemous noise; the aesthetic is appealing, always, but due to its intentionally derivative nature, anything recorded beyond the mid ’90s is caught in a vacuum of diminishing returns.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL438

Posted on March 14, 2014 by Friar Wagner

THRALL, Vermin to the Earth (2011, Moribund)

The skull:
Thrall not only love the skull, but they love the skull with snakes knotting themselves in and out of various cavities within our favorite boney body part. This one is a little more complex than the other Thrall art we featured way back in Skull183. While we like to take shots at all the stupid artwork that comes our way in this project, there’s nothing here to poke fun of. It’s a seriously great piece of art, and this Friar is especially down with the black blood dripping out of the skull’s eye sockets. Totally morbid.

The music:
I’d heard of Thrall quite a bit over the years, but never actually gave the band a listen until today. The first thing my ear goes to is the quality of the sounds. Not so much the songs, but the overall atmosphere. Thrall achieve an interesting sonic aesthetic: the guitars
are crisp and earthy, the drums dry and raw (but not dinky), the bass pumps out at just the right level, and the vocals are layed over everything perfectly, neither dominant nor buried. Other than a few minor effects on the vocals, everything sounds unadorned. Where that
might otherwise be a criticism (I dig studio manipulation), Thrall makes it work. It betrays a leaning toward traditional hard rock values, although Thrall don’t necessarily rock (well, “Plague of Man” sorta does). They don’t hide behind a ton of reverb or other effects, because they have the playing capability to twist sounds and melodies into otherworldly things without needing to overuse effects. But are the songs good? They’re okay. Something like “Oblivion” is even more than okay, featuring a couple interesting riffs. It partly exhumes the old-school simplicity of Bathory and Darkthrone, but with a kind of inspired intellectualism that resides in the realm of a band like Deathspell Omega, yet not quite that complex or tangled. Basically, Thrall straddles the line that separates ancient black metal and more modern approaches. I can continue to live without it — there’s probably not a metal sub-genre I’m pickier about than black metal — but I know a lot of people really like this band, and I can totally understand why.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL436

Posted on March 12, 2014 by Friar Wagner

KRYPTERIA, All Beauty Must Die (2011, Liberatio Music)

The skull:
Another obviously female skull (see Skull434), what with those pretty eyes and all. The smile is not one of happiness, nor is it maniacal. It looks like a forced giddiness…and it is. You see, we here at Big Dumb Skulls HQ are often privy to various goings-on behind the scenes of the covers we present to you, dear reader. And we know that a gun was indeed being pointed at her in this frame, the weapon wielded by a villainous cretin repeating the album title to the skull, ordering her to smile for the artist painting her portrait. Kind of an old-school version of the snuff film. The feathers are there to add even more “beauty” to the whole scene, but why? That skull is beautiful enough, and…no…wait…what’s the deal with the Snidely Whiplash mustache? Despite that bit of confusion, we were just about to intervene and save this skull from its fate. We normally wouldn’t interfere — we are mere watchers and chroniclers, after all — but in this case we felt terrible for the gal. But then we heard the music and decided to leave the skull to its fate.

The music:
With such a lame album cover, should I have been surprised at the junkiness of the music? I faintly remember this band riding on a wave of hype in the mid 2000s, something talked up by people who like this sort of female-fronted symphonic gothic power metal crud. The whole album is junky, but “Turn the World Around” has a ridiculous sub-nu metal sort of male vocal accompaniment that is beyond unlistenable. It’s a sound and genre strictly for girls who know nothing about metal, guys who have never been laid and never will be, and little children. The vocals of Ji-In Cho are way, way too melodramatic, and are especially nauseating in “(How Can Something So Good) Hurt So Bad,” which sounds like something from a Little Mermaid soundtrack. If that’s your thing, go for it. As for Krypteria’s inclusion here on Big Dumb Skulls, if it weren’t for the Chris Broderick-level sweep-picked leads, I would have not recognized a single iota of this as “metal.” And even if there are a couple impressive riffs and other musical passages throughout final song, “The Eye Collector,” this is mostly the sort of music that makes me have to listen to something else immediately, as if to wash out my sullied ears with soap. (And Sadus debut Illusions will be that soap.) Please, kill the beauty. Now.
— Friar Wagner

SKULL434

Posted on March 10, 2014 by Friar Wagner

BLACK FLAME, Septem (2011, Behemoth Productions)

The skull:
I tend to think of skulls as male for some reason, but who really knows the gender of these boneheads we’re evaluating? Four-hundred thirty-four skulls in and this is the first time one immediately strikes me as female. Possibly, in part, due to its modest size and reasonable proportion, but more because the skull looks like it belongs to Medusa, the Greek Gorgon whose main claim to fame was having snakes where her hair should be. Which begs the question: does the carpet match the drapes? It doesn’t appear that this artwork will be helpful in answering that timeless query. However, I do think I see a clue, or some kind of symbolism, in that triangle. Am I right, guys?

The music:
There are so many Italian metal bands with large discographies that no one knows much about. That’s largely because there are a ton of Italian metal bands that are technically very good at their chosen sub-genre (black metal, black/death, thrash and power metal being especially popular there), but deficient when it comes to having an engaging, distinctive musical voice. And many of these bands sound like mere analogs of more globally-recognized, non-Italian bands. This leads us to Septem, who have been around since 1998 and, unsurprisingly, are pretty okay but nothing more. They deliver a cruel, believable mesh of death and black metal, something that draws from the old Greek black metal scene and the Norwegian masters as much as it does more modern, precision sorts of sounds (think Behemoth). Sometimes they sound like Samael if they had continued down the dark path of Ceremony of Opposites instead of going the martial/industrial route. Sometimes they sound like Root if Root had suddenly decided to play with the intensity and adopt the robust production values of Vader instead of taking the progressive/eccentric path. But usually they just sound like they want to be Behemoth — and what modern death/black band doesn’t secretly wish they were Behemoth? Thing is, Black Flame don’t even make it a secret. It’s all there on Septem, right out in the open. What’s more: they’re signed to a label named Behemoth Productions. You can’t make this shit up. — Friar Wagner