Monthly Archives: October 2014

SKULL666

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KAT, 666 (1986, Polmark)

The skull:
Here it is, a skull so perfectly apt that no other could possibly end our epic investigation into the life and times of the Big Dumb Skull, although as you shall learn, this was perhaps fated from long ago. This album was originally released in 1986 with a different, and far inferior, cover, but when the band self-released a cassette reissue of the album in 1993 (what the fuck, Poland?) this new image was selected to grace it. At the time, the band said the replacement was necessary to better fit the different dimensions of a cassette cover, but it has long been rumored that The Council of the Elders of the Skull personally visited the band and suggested this cover, telling Kat (which is Polish for “executioner,” not “cat”) that the change would bring them great glory and renown in the then distant-seeming future. To their eternal credit, Kat agreed, although in fairness who would dare to deny a request from The Council? And lo, these many years later, their obedience has been duly rewarded, and their fame forever secured, as that very cover graces the last entry on Big Dumb Skulls.

The music:
Kat were one of the earliest, and then one of the biggest, bands of the Polish metal scene, along with Dragon and Turbo. 666 is the Polish-language version of the band’s debut, Metal and Hell, and this early material is driving heavy metal, bordering on speed at times, with a serious German influence, sounding a lot like Warrant, Iron Angel, or Exhumer, but honestly I prefer Kat to any of those bands. At their best, they sound considerably more evil than their better-known German peers, and at their worst, well, they’re a bit less goofy. If you’re not familiar with any of those groups, then imagine a bunch of Poles trying to make early Accept sound sinister. A lot of the early albums from these seminal Eastern European metal bands (eg: my beloved Aria and Arakain) sound a lot better than you might expect, and this is no exception. It’s not that it’s a sterling-sounding affair, but it can certainly compete with most of the underground stuff from 1986 that you’re probably familiar with. And as always, you can expect a better delivery from the vocalist on the native-language version of the album. Plus, Polish is a pretty cool metal language. Is this the hidden classic you’ve been looking for all your life? Not likely. It is pretty great, though, if you like that mid 80s Teutonic style, and you don’t mind looking a little harder for your tunes than usual.

The postscript:
Though we serve at the discretion of The Council, and we Friars are eternally at their beck and call, we must also give thanks for their magnanimity and charity, for they recognize that the task they set before us, though an honor, taxes us greatly in body and spirit, and they have granted us a period of rest, a respite from the demands of The Skull, and Friar Wagner and I shall return now to the cloistered sanctuary of The Council’s compound to spend our days in quiet contemplation, studiously avoiding any and all skulls until such time as our fragile minds have recovered. But fear not, faithful readers, for we shall not abandon this site altogether, and indeed some day we will begin posting anew, for our work is hardly done. Be you not mistaken that there are only 666 Big Dumb Skulls in the world. They are legion. And The Council of the Elders of the Skull, and we its loyal Friars (and all those who follow after we are gone), shall forever pursue and glorify all things big, dumb, and skully.
— Friar Johnsen

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SEVENTH ANGEL, Heed the Warning – Live (2005, Bombworks)

The skull:
What we have here is a Photoshop catastrophe that could only grace the cover of a thrown-together compilation. Although I applaud the band for selecting only flying Vs, and only Jacksons at that (even if one of them is a King V, of which I generally disapprove, and with a fixed bridge no less!), they could have found better than these bottom-of-the-barrel imports, especially as they clearly just grabbed these jpgs off the ‘net somewhere. The skull is muddled and ugly, and the background went at least four Photoshop filters too far. But to me, the most confusing aspect of the whole thing is the radiation symbol. This is a Christian band, so you’d assume that the epynomous warning has something to do with sin or Jesus or something, and not… nuclear war, which, by 2005, was already a pretty distant threat. But hey, no one ever accuses Christians of timeliness, so I guess it makes as much sense as we could expect. And half of the music on the album is from around 1990, so maybe this title is just short for Did You Heed The Warning? You Did? Great! Then I Guess Everyone Gets To Live.

The music:
Seventh Angel are a long running Christian thrash band who are not as good as the best of their kind (Believer, basically), but who can hang pretty comfortably with the likes of Tourniquet and Deliverance, which is to say they’re not that good, but they’re also not completely horrible. Seventh Angel have always hung their hook on their “doom” aspect, but I think you’d have to have lived a pretty sheltered musical life to call this doom metal. Of course, a lot of Christian thrash fans DO live pretty sheltered musical lives, so it all makes sense. Yes, there are slightly more slow parts in your typical Seventh Angel tune, but there are tons of thrash bands who slow it down just as much, and nearly as often, and no one would ever call them doom. In any case, this release is a compilation containing a four track demo from 1990 and some live tracks recorded Lord knows when. They don’t appear to be mixed at all, but as soundboard recordings go, the quality is perfectly fine, and the band is tight enough that you won’t hear many mistakes. You also won’t hear a lot of great music, because that’s not what put Seventh Angel on the map, but if you only jam for the lamb, and you like your metal a little more rugged than Sacred Warrior, then you almost certainly aren’t reading this blog, and if you were, you’d almost certainly already own this, so why go on?
— Friar Johnsen

SKULL664

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MERENDINE ATOMICHE, Walk Across Fire (2003, Deadsun)

The skull:
Walk across fire or float across an exploding taffy factory. Same difference.

The music:
This band’s name basically means “Atomic Snacks,” which makes me think they should tour with Acid Drinkers and Spider Kickers. It would go musically, too, as these Italians play thrash. And, like the Kickers and the Drinkers, it’s not great thrash, but it is thrash. Totally sounds like an early ‘90s Brit-thrash band: standard-issue riffs, dry recording, half the energy of the early Metallica albums they’re inspired by and none of the songwriting acumen. At best, it’s like Annihilator’s worst.
— Friar Wagner

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TOXIC TWINS, Menace to Unity (1997, Brennus)

The skull:
This is surely just a photo of the underside of a skateboard from the 80s, right? What else could it possibly be? It’s pretty cool, in that very-low-rent Pushead knockoff kind of way, even if the riveted metal motif doesn’t make a whole lot of sense. If anything, the fastened-together look more like a defense, rather than a menace, of unity. But anyway, the bandana is a nice touch, and I’m sure that if this guy’s jaw is open to speak, the word he’s speaking is, “Gnarly!” or its Corsu equivalent.

The music:
You’d think, with a name and a cover like this, that Toxic Twins would be some mid-grade new thrash band, but you’d be wrong. In fact, this Corsican (!!!) act have been around since at least 1994, and this, their second album, is a surprisingly interesting historical curiosity. The main vibe I get is “LA 1986,” as Toxic Twins sound like nothing so much as a cross between Warrior and Motley Crue, although that glammy base is leavened by a bit of the weirdness you’d sometimes get from bands like Saigon Kick or Warrior Soul. If that list of names does nothing for you, I can assure you, aside from Warrior (whom I love), it does little for me, but Toxic Twins blend it all up in a mid 80s stew that is nonetheless fairly enjoyable. The music isn’t especially heavy, but it’s definitely metal, and the glammier aspects feel more vestigial than intentional. I have no idea who is singing (basically all of the members are credited with vocals) but most of the lead vocals are sung by just one guy, and he sounds a lot like Warrior’s Perry McCarty, minus the upper end of McCarty’s (once) astounding range. This midrange rasp is put to great use, and some catchy melodies are eked out of not a lot of notes. There are a couple longer passages sung by another guy, and he’s not nearly as good, even if he isn’t terrible. My main complaint with Menace to Unity is that it rarely really gets going, and by the end of the disc, all the mid-tempo tunes start to blend together, but this was a serious problem across the board in melodic (non-power) metal in the mid 90s, and the tunes here are generally strong enough to overcome this as a serious handicap. While the other two Toxic Twins albums appear to be long out of print, evidently Musea (of all labels) reissued this about a decade ago and it’s still available. Supposedly the band is still around, but their last release came out in 2008, so who knows? But, this album is sufficiently good that I think I’m going to have to spend a little time trying to track down those other albums, if only digitally, because there’s some chance that they might be pretty good.
— Friar Johnsen

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FRONT BEAST / MEPHISTO, In League With Evil Metal  (2006, Iron Tyrant)

The skull:
A couple centuries from now, when Big Dumb Skulls – The Big Dumb Coffee Table Book has replaced the Bible as the best-selling book of all time, children will ask their parents and grandparents things like “What was the first big dumb skull ever in the world?,” “Why does Proclamation like horns so much?,” and “What’s your favorite dumb skull, daddy?” It’s likely many of the queried elders will answer of the latter question, “Why, Timmy, I do believe the Front Beast / Mephisto split was the very epitome of the Big Dumb Skull cover: chains, horns, fangs, barbed wire, the Iron Cross. Had it all. Ne’er was a finer one, I’d say.” To which Timmy would reply, “Daddy, what’s a ‘front beast?’”

The music:
Front Beast is terrible. One-man band basement black metal with super-sloppy drumming, crappy riffs, and vocals that make that guy from Switzerland’s Messiah sound like Tony Harnell. This latter element has a weird sort of appeal, but only for a minute or so. They do a cover of Burzum’s “Ea, Lord of the Depths,” which completely lacks the haunting, spectral vibe of the original. It’s obvious this guy took his band’s name from an early, non-album Destruction song because he prefers to think of himself as pretty obscure – I’m also sure this dude is one of those types that thinks Destruction sold out with Infernal Overkill. Mephisto is also terrible. It’s one thing to be raw, feral, primal and all that, but quite another to attempt a spooky melodic intro as in “Fullmoon Damnation” and have the guitars be so wildly out of tune that you’re almost embarrassed for the boys. The drumming is borderline competent, and the vocals are the usual Angelripper-meets-Quorthon sort of deal. It’s all ham-fisted as hell, like early Tiamat playing early Sodom songs while wearing oven mitts. There’s a fine line between audacious primitivism and just plain underwhelming crud like Mephisto.
— Friar Wagner

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SUICIDAL TENDENCIES, 13 (2013, Suicidal)

The skull:
If I told you about an album with a skull smashing through a brick wall as the cover, you’d immediately, and not unjustly, assume it would have to be the most cliched thing possible, not even fit for a bad tattoo. And yet, the actual execution of this cover positively screams, “Suicidal!” There’s no mistaking the skull as belonging to anyone BUT Mike Muir, and the rich detail of all the embedded words (mostly lyrics and song titles) elevates this skull from generic to utterly specific. I mean, it’s still a Big Dumb Skull (and a really big, really dumb one at that) but while most BDS bands could swap covers without anyone noticing, this skull pledges his allegiance to ST and no one else, which is nothing to sneeze at. And at least they didn’t top the skull with one of those hats with the brim flipped up.

The music:
When I was a young Friar, I was very seriously into Suicidal Tendencies. Their superb crossover classic, How Will I Laugh Tomorrow When I Can’t Even Smile Today (still one of the greatest titles of all time) came out right when I started getting into metal as a crabby teenager, and it struck a chord. Although they started as a punk band, this album was more or less pure thrash, albeit thrash tempered by the unique vocal stylings of mainman Mike Muir, who looked a whole lot tougher than he sounded (and I mean that in a good way – Muir’s cholo with a heart of gold persona was a large part of his charm). I still love that album, and the EP Feel Like Shit… Deja Vu (another great title), but my devotion waned for Lights Camera Revolution (with its ridiculous excess of slap bass, courtesy of new member and braid enthusiast Robert Trujillo), and I had more or less lost interest by Art of Rebellion. The writing got less and less interesting, the songs leaned more and more on Muir’s goofy schtick and Trujillo’s funk fetish, and when godlike guitarist Rocky George finally decamped for Fishbone (after a couple more truly uninspired ST albums), I left the band for dead, although they did fart out a couple more truly bad albums in the late 90s/early 00s. I seem to recall hearing that Muir suffered from some health issues after that which sidelined him from the music biz, but he finally put a new band together and 13 is the result. Now, despite my great affection for them in the late 80s, I never saw them back then live, so when they came around last year in advance of 13‘s release, I decided to go, and when they opened with “Smash It!”, a truly excellent new tune, I felt like maybe ST was back! Sadly, as the evening progressed, I felt less and less sure of that comeback, and in the end I left a little early because I was started to get truly bored. Cyco Miko had put together another impressive band (drummer Eric Moore in particular stands out as a monster – check him out in the fusion metal supergroup T.R.A.M.), but for all his efforts in obtaining the most overtalented musicans, Muir had failed to recruit anyone who could write worth a damn. Still, that “Smash It!” tune was great on stage, so when the album finally came out, I gave it a listen and was sorely disappointed. The production is weirdly powerless (especially the guitars) and Mike’s vocals wimpier than usual, and all the energy from the live presentation was missing. And that song is easily the best on the disc! Overall, the style is fairly similar to the thrash of the late 80s, tempered with a bit more of their historical hardcore, and an admittedly impressive amount of dynamics. “Smash It!” is still okay, despite its weakness, and there are a few other decent tunes (“Whose Afraid?” for instance) but the overall vibe is rather torpid. 13 is not a horrible album, and it’s not even close to the worst the band has produced (it’s probably not even in the bottom half), but ST’s discography is so weak overall that even a relatively good album by their standards could reek outright. This doesn’t reek, but it’s dull, and really, dull is about the last thing you expect from Mike Muir. I wish I could say that all it would take for ST to reclaim the crossover throne is a reunion with George and classic rhythm player Mike Clark, but those guys were on more bad albums than good, so it’s probably time for me to just admit that How Will I Laugh and Feel Like Shit were weird flukes and nothing more.
— Friar Johnsen

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ELYSIAN BLAZE, Prophecies of Misery (2003, demo)

The music:
It was looking real good for Elysian Blaze’s first demo cover. Got the fancy border all set, that was a nice start…then went all crazy with the E & B in the logo, made it look real fine, really classy. Got it all nice and centered. “Lookin’ ace!” said the one man in this one-man band. Then came the time to decide what to put inside all that black space. The possibilities were infinite, the world was their oyster, this could be an incredible looking demo…and they blew it. Really, Mutatiis? Really???

The music:
Elyzian Blaze has a sterling reputation amongst lovers of the funeral doom/black metal fusion. And they have an album with the superb title of Blood Geometry. And indeed they deserve all the accolades they get for the albums, yet this early demo is a bit of a snoozer. It’s pretty much exactly what you would imagine a one-man band fusing black metal and funeral doom to sound like, and nothing more. The only remotely interesting thing here is that the slower moments are not only slow, but rather quiet, which gives depth to the overall sound picture – droning piano, creepy whispering, floating, ghostly, gothic wind tunnel sound effects. That kinda thing. But it’s hardly great, and the drum machine sounds like crap. Which is par for the course with one-man black metal. There were better things ahead for E.B., including cover art.
— Friar Wagner

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SEOL, Üdvözlégy a Seolban (2007, demo)

The skull:
Is that a horn or… what is that? What the fuck is wrong with this skull? Is that just a massive third eye socket or something? Is this the skull of a deformed monster? The bed of leaves he’s sitting on and the nicely arranged candles make me think of some ridiculously decorated table at a holiday party. But not Halloween. That would be too obvious. I think it’s probably Thanksgiving, and the hostess who conjured this bizarre tablescape happens to hate all of her guests, with a deep and pervasive loathing, and she can’t wait until she pulls off the skull’s top to reveal the boiled organ meat inside which is the one and only course at dinner.

The music:
The only Seol music I could find is a couple of tracks on the band’s long-abandoned Myspace page, and hilariously, they’re both intros, including the intro to this demo. I love the idea that back in the heyday of Myspace (or at least back in 2007 when this demo came out and Myspace wasn’t completely irrevelant), Seol figured that a minute and a half of slowed-down sound effects and moaning was a good introduction to the band for curious listeners. Then again, it’s pretty clear from just those intros that Seol are a shitty low-fi black metal band, and maybe that’s all the info their theoretical potential fans would need to become interested. While I applaud the audacity of that assumption, I can’t say that I’ve been converted to the Seol cause by some spooky wind noises, but your mileage may vary.
— Friar Johnsen

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IN ARKADIA, Regurgitate (2012, self-released)

The skull:
You know that 3D novelty sticker image people put on the rear window of their car, the one that makes it appear as if a baseball is lodged in the window, with a cobweb of cracks around it? Well, Big Dumb Skulls have jumped on the bandwagon, and with the partnership of In Arkadia, and as long as the Council of the Elders of the Skull approve the marketing budget, we should have our Big Dumb Window Skull on the market by early 2015.

The music:
Thank god this digital single is a mere two songs long, clocking in for a cozy total of 8:36, because I don’t think I can take much more groove-steeped melodic deathcore. By now it’s been co-opted, slaughtered, over-baked and stripped of all goodness by thousands of bands in the last 10 years. And really, it was never a good idea in the first place, so take a bad idea and make it worse? Yeah, good plan, everybody. Good plan. “Regurgitate”? No kidding. We hereby withdraw our partnership with you from Big Dumb Window Skull, Inc.™
— Friar Wagner

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NIGHTSIDE GLANCE, Twilight Visions of the Night (2005, demo)

The skull:
There’s a whole lot of “night” happening here, and I love the idea of “twilight visions of the night.” It’s like a glimpse into the future, but only an hour or so into the future. This seems to be an alternate or reissue cover, as the original has no skull but instead a pair of glaring eyes, rendered with just slightly more artistry than the Invader cover. That cover also featured a lot of lightning, and also a bit more of a twilight feel, but who needs thematic purity when you can have a skull? This guy looks like he’s auditioning to be a stuntskull for an Iced Earth cover or something, and he hardly seems interested in either twilight or glancing, but at least he’s putting in some effort, which is more can be said for a lot of the skull models we’ve seen.

The music:
This is straight-up Dimmu Borgir/Old Man’s Child worship from Belarus. I guess you’d call it “symphonic black metal” but there’s not very much here that qualifies as black metal in the traditional sense. There are a few more 6/8 parts than usual, and the vocals are croaky instead of gurgly, and maybe the lyrics are about Satan, although they’re probably just about the night. What you do get are a lot of cheesy keyboards and a powerful evocation of 1997, when this sort of thing was all the rage. If Born of the Flickering is your favorite album of all time and you collect anything that sounds like that, then you probably already own this, along with like 3000 similar discs, but on the off chance your trading network didn’t extend too far into the former Soviet bloc, then I guess now’s the time to right that wrong and pick up some Nightside Glance.
— Friar Johnsen