Monthly Archives: August 2013

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DESTRUCTION, The Antichrist (2001, Nuclear Blast)

The skull:
Far be it for me to question the judgment of The Council, so I will only say that they must really love Destruction. I would have guessed their previous entry (SKULL138 for those new to the site) would have sufficed, but here we are again. This is the second time this skull has appeared, although he’s not so shamelessly reproduced as the Survive guy, who is pasted on basically every Nuclear Assault album anymore. Here the skull with the cracked brain is the titular Antichrist, wreaking all kinds of havoc on the world, or at least half the world — the image is clearly just mirrored horizontally, so lazy is this cover. And the skull’s pate is implied to actually be the planet, so maybe he’s zapping the moon or something. Who the shit knows. Have you ever read The Apocalypse of John? It’s bonkers.

The music:
This is the second album from the reunited Destruction, and it’s definitely better than the first, All Hell Breaks Loose (a preoccupation of the band, apparently), which is pretty good itself. This stretches out a bit more in the riff department, with more harmonies and even a faint trace of the weirdness from the last days of the first Schmier era, and the beginning of the post-Schmier period (before they turned into a shitty groove metal reject band). It’s not as whacked as the supreme Release from Agony but you can definitely hear that it’s the same dudes at work. I especially appreciate the busyness of Schmier’s bass work, as in the live favorite “Nailed to the Cross”. Some of the tunes are a bit lazier, and if you’ve heard any of the reunion albums, you’ll know the basic contours of The Antichrist before you spin it, but if you like any of ’em, you’ll basically like all of them. That’s not to say you need them all, of course, but I guess they’re all worth a listen if you’re into German thrash.
— Friar Johnsen

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AVANTASIA, Lost In Space (Part 1 & 2) (2008, Nuclear Blast)

The skull:
This looks like some Affliction shirt you’d see on a metal bro walking a Jersey shore boardwalk. Like the sartorial abortion that is any Affliction shirt, this is just some random mishmash of monochrome stupidity, with some tribal-esque spikes, some scrollwork, more filligree (a theme this week), and laurels up top, for some reason. And oh yeah, a big skull. I mean, sure, it’s big, and I appreciate that, but this is clearly a cover that’s at least a little embarrassed by its central figure. But I suppose that’s just as well, because from the gritted-teeth grimace on this skully chap, he’s every bit as mortified to have been slapped on the cover of an Avantasia album. Not even that As I Lay Dying skull is gonna talk to him, now. About the only nice thing I can say about this cover is that it’s not the cover from Lost in Space (Part I), which is just a shot of a pouting, soul-patched Tobias Sammett, resplendent in his guy-liner and bangle bracelets.

The music:
Time was, I really liked Edguy. That time was long ago, however, and brief. Really, the only great thing Sammett has ever done is Vain Glory Opera, and everything since (especially since he got the number for Jon Bon Jovi’s hair stylist) has been an utter atrocity. Avantasia was originally conceived as a power metal rock opera, which is about as horrible a string of four words as I can conceive, and while it enjoyed immediate and implacable success, it was a creative stillbirth from day one, only getting worse over the years. The two Lost in Space EPs, here collected, do not present a story in the same way the other albums do, so at least they’re not burdened with that inanity (nor with Timo Tolkki guest spots), but they’re no more inspired musically, and they lack even the moronic ambition of the original vision. Sammett has moved increasingly from power metal to a kind of super dumb, glossy hard rock over the years, and these EPs stand at the crossroads of those two styles, presenting neither in a particularly good light. The best songs are covers, including the default power metal Ultravox preference “Dancing With Tears In My Eyes” (see also: Dreamscape, Freedom Call, The Poodles, et al.) and Abba’s “Lay All Your Love On Me” (see also: Helloween, Reinxeed). Of the original songs, I was about to say something nice about “Ride the Sky,” but of course that’s not an Avantasia song either, but an oldie I didn’t recognize from Lucifer’s Friend. Avantasia has always featured a bunch of guest singers debasing themselves, and here you can cringe to the sounds of Jorn Lande, Bob Cately, and Michael Kiske wasting their talents (although, for Kiske and Lande, that’s more or less their actual career plan now.) That the band could release these pointless, barren EPs and still go on to release four more full lengths is a sad, stupid mystery.
— Friar Johnsen

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AS I LAY DYING, Frail Words Collapse (2003, Metal Blade)

The skull:
A so-sad skull fades into the brown and yellow light, swathed and surrounded in presumably frail words, and also some olde-tyme type filligree, for some reason. Bringing to bear every Photoshopic power of the legendary Metal Blade design team, this cover absolutely explodes, I mean collapses, with mediocrity. A more fittingly banal cover would be hard to imagine, even for the ace artistic wizards working under the crack and lash of Brian Slagel’s whip.

The music:
Singer Tim Lambesis explained in a recent blog post that over the past several years, he had lost his once-prominent Christian faith (as would have been obvious, he further stated, to close readers of his lyrics and internet statements, which suggests his belief in mythical creatures had not entirely departed.) His break-up with God conveniently coincided with his decision to hire a hitman to murder his ex-wife, but having been brought to heel before the assassination could happen, and having spent some time in the hoosegow, he’s perhaps not surprisingly started to reconsider his newfound skepticism. But back in 2003, he was still an eager young theologist asking this big questions. Why are we here? Why do bad things happen to good people? Is it okay to brazenly rip-off the flavor-of-the-month metal band for personal profit? As I Lay Dying were at the vanguard of cheap Killswitch Engage imitation, arriving fully-formed just a year after KSE’s widely-copied Alive of Just Breathing. Back then you could still kinda hear the hardcore influence in this nascent metalcore, but the basic recipe was and is: add some goopy clean vocals to pale In Flames worship, and you’ve got yourself an album. As I Lay Dying are certainly no worse than most of the zillion or so bands to brazenly steal the sound Killswitch Engage barely invented, and you might even call them one of the better metalcore bands, but if you’ve read Big Dumb Skulls for long, you’ll know how much water that carries around here. I sorta like the angular, noisy, Meshuggeneh “A Thousand Steps,” but this quasi-song is less than two minutes, evidently all the interest this band could manage to summon. I can also kind of appreciate in retrospect is the looseness of the entire album; the drums are clearly not quantized or triggered, and Lambesis had to more or less get his shit in tune before the mass adoption of Autotune, which lends the entire affair an almost organic feel. Which is to say, it sounds nothing like the metalcore of even 2006, let alone the sad remnants of that instantly-tired movement in 2013.
— Friar Johnsen

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ATANAB, Black Magic  (2010, Mighty Hordes Productions)

The skull:
Originally released by some other label in 2006 with a non-skull cover, Mighty Hordes put
that wrong to right and reissued this album with a skull cover. It’s a pretty okay one too, a
fairly crude drawing that is nonetheless effective. The skull is hooded, and the skull
is in rough shape: a vertical crack from forehead to nose, and a lower right eye
that shows the bone deteriorating in a kind of unzipping sort of pattern. There’s even a fuzzy-looking root or strand of fungus hanging off his left jaw. This skull has either been the victim of some pretty rad black magic, or he’s in bad need of some ASAP.

The music:
This Colombian band plays black metal that sounds like Marduk doing covers of ’80s era
speed/black/thrash metal bands. So yeah, it’s fast, the vocals are exclusively vicious, and
there are some riffs here, but there’s nothing remarkable about it. Perhaps I’m showing my
age when almost none of these newer skull-loving black/death/thrash metal bands sound impressive to these ears. Hardly any of them bring any sort of unique personality to their music — just retreads of recycled ideas of things that have been done many times before. Nothing stands out on Black Magic, but I guess when you’re calling your album Black Magic and slapping a skull on the cover, originality is not the idea.
— Friar Wagner

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CELTIC FROST, The Collector’s Celtic Frost  (1987, Noise)

The skull:
Celtic Frost’s “screaming skull” happens to be one of the coolest and most recognizable skull designs in metal. (Remember that Frost’s heptagram design also featured a skull.) The cover of this single is simplicity incarnate, but also entirely effective. There’s no need for anything else — it works just like it is. The skull still possesses one gushy orb of an eyeball in his left eye socket, and his elongated maw screams in horror as strings of what I’ll say is mucus stick to his upper and lower teeth. Weird, cool and tailor-made for t-shirts and tattoos.

The music:
Tom G. Warrior had a talent for spotting quirk, darkness and eccentricity in various non-metal songs, taking them into the world of Celtic Frost and molesting them into nearly unrecognizable new versions. He’s done it with Bryan Ferry, David Bowie and Wall of Voodoo, and this 1962 Dean Martin song, “In the Chapel in the Moonlight” (the sole song on this 1987 12″ single). I’m not any kind of lounge/crooner fan or anything, but the original has an undeniable appeal. The Frost version is a total perversion of the original, naturally: it brings in a militaristic cadence that changes the song considerably, especially the snare work of Reed St. Mark in the chorus section, and a conviction in delivery that turns this strange idea into a tiny little success. The female backing vocals are appropriately ghostly, as well. Tom’s vocals are fiery and fucked up. This was recorded during the Into the Pandemonium era, which was the first and last time his voice had this particular quality (it was much gruffer before this, and a lackluster bark afterward). Yet another cool nugget of nuttiness from Celtic Frost.
— Friar Wagner

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REVENGE, Triumph, Genocide, Antichrist  (2003, Osmose Productions)

The skull:
The leader of Revenge, James Read, is clearly a skull-worshipper. Another of his bands, Conqueror, is also enshrined in our Skullection (Skull155). And most Revenge releases feature a prominent skull doing something naughty, in the consistently uniform design that the band’s releases share. We won’t induct all of them, as the Council has a rule about such things, so it makes sense to go with the debut album. This cover design resembles the Conqueror album reviewed earlier in its bleak, spiky, barbed-wire, skully looking self. This little guy is encircled in barbed wire and seemingly mounted on King Diamond’s microphone holder. Cryptic and foreboding looking stuff.

The music:
Not that far away from Conqueror, actually, this album flies by in a hellish 31-minute smear. Totally gonzoid speed, equally apeshit vocals, bloodcurdling intensity everywhere…this is an exhausting listen, and while it’s fun for a few minutes, it gets old quick. And this from someone who can sit down and listen to Beherit, Nuclear Death and Sarcofago for hours. Yet Revenge is something else. It’s like that stuff, but 10 times more piercing, less organic, and just annoying. Maybe it’s the precision Angelcorpse-esque edge that turns me off (ie. boring after 5 minutes). It’s this monochromatic glaze that takes away any real vibrancy or attractiveness. Makes sense that Revenge sounds like Conqueror meets Angelcorpse, because Pete Helmkamp was a member of Revenge at this point. Crazy fuckers playing crazy music. Not for the faint of heart.
— Friar Wagner

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SADISTIK EXEKUTION, Fukk II (2004, Osmose)

The skull:
Fire! Fire! Fire! Fire! This is a cover that would really rile Beavis up! It’s got fire, guns, some barbed spear thingies and a poorly-spelled curse word, and every fucking tooth is a fang! Crack the dome and throw in a crown of thorns and you’ve got one damned fine Big Dumb Skull.

The music:
Sadistik Exekution are often called “cult,” which is basically code for “just another shitty, grindy deaththrash band.” Mindless speed delivered with maximum slop that caters to people who can tell how much they’ll like an album by the density of bullet belts in the band photo. Fukk II is indeed a sequel to the original, ostensibly classic Fukk and which probably ties up all the loose ends in the story. Like, it finally reveals who fukked Mary, or something. Usually album sequels are just shameless cash-ins made long after a band has lost its mojo, but Fukk II is not merely the spiritual successor of Fukk but the literal successor as well, issued a mere two years later. Maybe like the Keeper of the Seven Keys albums, there was just too much Fukk for Sadistik Exekution to fit on one album, and the label balked at the notion of a double album. Whatever the case, I’d much rather conjecture along these lines than spend more time actually listening to this horrible crap.
— Friar Johnsen

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LORD HAUNTED, Bang ‘Em Till Bleed the Bone  (2007, demo)

The skull:
We have a winner here people. This prehistoric-looking skull appears to be a product of inbreeding. Just guessing. What an honor it must be, then, to be draped in a bullet belt and have a boot coming down on your head to try to, apparently, “bleed the bone.” And damned if the boot isn’t winning! We have here yet another demo band actually volunteering to place the parental advisory sticker on their album cover. (See also Skull210) It threatens to ruin everything, but this cover’s so awesome, not even that can diminish its greatness. So, till next time: bang ’em till bleed the bone and, uh, fist pump it till…um…till scrape the flesh.

The music:
The fact that Lord Haunted covers Manilla Road’s “Dig Me No Grave” should tell you all you need to know about their musical preferences. It’s an interesting cover choice, something from one of Manilla’s least-celebrated albums (The Courts of Chaos). The four other songs are all originals, and even if the cover art looks more like a dirty black/thrash kind of thing, this is pure epic traditional metal; none of these songs would have been out of place on any of those early Metal Massacre compilations. There’s an especially strong whiff of California’s Tyrant here, if that helps. When he’s in screaming mode, vocalist Marcos Fazzio often sounds uncannily similar to Artillery’s Flemming Ronsdorf, which is kinda cool, because you don’t hear that often. Lord Haunted is not bad, most the songs have a good bit of depth, lots of interesting parts, and the the dudes have the skills to pull it off. If the already-mentioned bands are your thing, as well as Omen, Helstar, Dio and Mercyful Fate, you could do worse. You won’t hear anything original either, but you probably weren’t expecting to.
— Friar Wagner

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THE RECKONING, Absence of Mind (1990, demo)

The skull:
Yes, it’s a blindfolded skull resting on a giant, wizened hand, but doesn’t it also look like a giant skull man with a tiny body, very short legs, and an incredibly long dick? I picture this guy capering about in New Orleans near some grim Mardi Gras float, drunk as a boiled owl and having a good ol’ time.

The music:
Most people think Anthrax or Overkill when they think New York thrash, and for sure those bands were at the vanguard of the city’s original thrash sound, but there were plenty of Bay Area inspired bands working their trade in and around the big apple, such as Cold Steel, Dead On, and, evidently, The Reckoning. The singing in this sort of band tended less toward gruff bellowing and more toward a kind of hardcore-inspired shout-singing. The riffing here is mid paced and grooving, rarely even putting on menacing airs (let alone actually doing any menacing). I like the prominent bass, but this is one of the few obvious hallmarks of the East Coast sound intruding on the demo. The Reckoning don’t offer anything new or especially interesting on this five song effort, but at the same time, they don’t make any obvious mistakes, either. I’m sure they riled up a few pits in their day, but it’s pretty clear why they failed to attract any label attention.
— Friar Johnsen

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BLOODY SKIZZ, Gods Breaker / Bloody Road to Death  (1982, Belgravia)

The skull:
This skull is served with the works: an inverted crucifix, wings seemingly fashioned from metal or driftwood, an axe, a lightning bolt, and a mace that’s absolutely soaked in blood. The skull itself has seen better days — he looks concerned, and appears to have suffered a terrible accident, as he’s got blood pouring from his mouth. It could reasonably be assumed he was smashed in the teeth by the blood-soaked mace in the picture. It’s not an easy gig posing for these obscure European metal 7 inch picture sleeves!

The music:
Typical of much obscure Euro metal from the early ’80s, Bloody Skizz have a ton of heart, an enchanting rawness, an annoying vocalist, and not much that makes you want to return for seconds. The shambling “Gods Breaker” is clearly inspired by Iron Maiden and ends up sounding like Witch Cross before they found their muse with the Fit to Fight album. “Bloody Road to Death,” rather, is more influenced by Judas Priest. The vocals in this song are a very weak attempt at Rob Halford in the Hell Bent for Leather era. If it weren’t for the heavily-accented vocals, this could easily pass as a NWOBHM release. These two songs are all Bloody Skizz ever offered, and believe me, you can live without this…you’ll be fine.
–Friar Wagner