Monthly Archives: June 2013

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HOURGLASS SANDS OF ETERNITY, Journey to Infinity (2002, Secret Port)

The skull:
If there’s one thing that we Friars love on our metal covers as much as as a skull, it’s an hourglass, and the ludicrously named Hourglass Sands of Eternity brings it all together with this excellent double whammy. I love that either the headband or the skull was painted without regard for where the other would go, I love that the weirdly shaped skull is actually weeping sandy tears, I love that the bony leg on the right is broken, I love it all. And while watching an hourglass empty is about as far from a “journey” as you can get, this cover nevertheless communicates exactly what you’re gonna get from the music.

The music:
I will admit to owning an awful lot of discs like this: a hamhanded mix of true metal and progressive metal played badly and produced worse, but for whatever reason I never acquired a copy of this particular release. HSOE (as I’ll abbreviate them) are a Greek band, and Greek prog metal is almost never good, but it’s probably just dumb luck that a vendor I patronized back in the early 00s didn’t foist this one on me. I would have taken it in a heartbeat, based on the cover alone. The songs are dull, in that ponderous would-be-proggy way, and the singing is fairly bad, although certainly no worse than any of the playing. All in all, this squarely inhabits that dread zone of mediocrity where abide all those bands just good enough to not merit special scorn. But even though it’s been over ten years since this, the band’s only release, HSOE are allegedly still active, so there’s still time (har har) for them to salvage their reputation. Hopefully they try that with a skull, too.
— Friar Johnsen

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GODS OF FIRE, Wrath of the Gods  (2004, Black Thirteen)

The skull:
Man, this one whips up one magickal psychedelic visage of a skull! Look into those eyes…weird organic matter, like black lava swirling and cooling, with what looks like elaborately sculpted smoke whirling up the sides, with teeth that are not human and some pretty good looking gums, considering the advanced state of decay this person has gone through by this point. This person with the teeth of a badger. And then, yes, lots of fire burning below, a recurring theme for many a skull album cover. The skull itself almost gets lost in all this madness.

The music:
Gods Of Fire sounds influenced by King Diamond, Sanctuary, Iron Maiden and Manowar. Unfortunately, listening to these eight songs and 53 minutes is a chore. Their hearts are in the right place, but it’s pretty low-rent stuff. Too many ham-fisted stabs at grandiosity (“Promethus Unbound”), some flat-out bad notes (the guitar themes that open “Nectar of the Gods”), and vocals that try for a wide range but are dull and powerless at every turn. Sometimes the musicianship is pretty good, despite weak spots, but there’s this overall void running throughout that makes it feel like parody. The recording is far too dry, which doesn’t help their cause. It’s frustrating to listen to a band reaching for golden heights only to come back with greasy scraps. I cheer for them with part of my heart while my entire brain says, “No…please…no.” On a fun little note, their second album is called Hanukkah Gone Metal. I am not kidding. Here’s a lyric from “No Gelt, No Glory”: “No Gelt No Glory baby / I let it ride on Gimel must walk away a winner now / No Gelt No Glory baby / If you want to play then baby gimme a ‘HEI!'” The first line goes “With the dreidel in my hand I give it a lucky whirl.” It’s sure more interesting than the stock-mythology lyrics running throughout Wrath of the Gods.
— Friar Wagner

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EMERALD STEEL, Emerald Steel (1990, Woodstock Discos)

The skull:
First you’re like, “What’s the worst he can do? Bite me? I can handle one fucking skull in a fight,” and then he shows up armed to the (grinning) teeth, and you’re like, “Aw, shit!”

The music:
How on earth have I never heard this before? I knew the name, and based on the cover, I assumed they were crappy NWOBHM. Instead, they’re more like a crappy Crimson Glory knock-off, which is exactly my kind of crap. Singer Wagner Geronymo (obviously his real name), a Brazilian transplant to Florida, has a strong, piercing high voice, and he delivers his lines with exactly the overblown theatricality you want in an act like this. His pitch sometimes doesn’t quite hit the mark, especially when he harmonizes, but when he lands it, he sounds great. The songs are not classics for the ages (see: “Sex Metal”), but they’re certainly better than a lot of other US power metal bands from the late 80s, comparing favorably with early Heir Apparent, Oracle, Sacred Oath, or others in that vein. If, like me, you already own all the classics, and all the second-tier guilty pleasures, and then all of the third tier junk from the heyday of American melodic metal, then it’s time to open a new tab, bring up eBay, and find yourself a Hot Metal bootleg of Emerald Steel, yet another band that deservedly fell through the cracks but is still kind of okay.
— Friar Johnsen

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ELWING, War  (2005, Black Lotus)

The skull:
Assuming that this one-eyed skull is looking at a scene of war, he looks blank and unimpressed. The artwork is all scratchy and organic-ish, just some fun with Photoshop to help dress up an otherwise drab cover idea. Mission not accomplished. There are a whole subset of skull covers out there featuring one-eyed skulls, and this is one of the least remarkable. Just another band that’s got nothin’ in the way of cover ideas. (Their first album featured artwork depicting a helmeted, shielded, and sworded warrior standing atop a pile of skulls. Also none too original.)

The music:
Whole lotta gallop goin’ on, and quite a few Celtic/folk flavored rhythms and melodies. This Greek metal band worships at the altar of Blind Guardian and other such fantasy-laden, epic sorts of power metal bands. If you have any recollection at all of the Greek band Nemesis (I don’t), one of their members ended up in Elwing, and he brings their “Lost Humanity” song with him, which appears on this album. Highlight tracks? They’re all kind of similar in quality and structure. The vocals are mid-ranged and decent enough, and when he goes high he sounds strained. Or with tons of effects piled on. He’s gruff and forceful enough and has an okay range. Musically it’s solid and tight, nothing to sniff at, and the whole band perform with an earnestness that at least makes you appreciate their conviction. But Elwing isn’t offering anything that other, better bands haven’t, so there you go. Elwing gave it their best shot in the early and mid 2000s and died a pretty quick death. A casualty of the power metal war…
— Friar Wagner

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LEGACY OF HATE, Unmitigated Evil (2008, Maintain)

The skull:
There’s something off about the dimensions of this skull that makes me think it’s perhaps supposed to be a child’s. I guess plopping a kid’s skull in a pile of bones (or whatever) is pretty evil, although if that evil were totally unmitigated, I imagine there’d probably be a whole lot more skulls. And probably less foliage, which isn’t very evil at all.

The music:
Googling for information about this band, I turned up a lot of heavy metal references to “legacy of hate,” the phrase. It’s a Fight song. It’s a Celesty album. It’s a Hellfighter (aka: the singer from Xentrix’s band) single. And, of course, it’s this Austrian band. Usually when that sort of thing happens, it turns out the phrase is the title of a book or movie, or was part of some famous speech, but I can’t seem to find the source (unless all these groups were fans of the 60s TV western The Virginian), so I’m just going to assume that this is a phrase so utterly generic that it’s been coined dozens of times. Which is to say, it’s absolutely perfect for a band with a big dumb skull cover. Legacy of Hate are a melodic death metal band that are neither bad nor at all noteworthy. Just the same thing you’ve heard countless times before, done better and worse. They’re from Austria, but though I usually expect an off-kilter oddness from Austrian metal bands, Legacy of Hate don’t have a measure of quirk to spare. Straight up and down, these guys. If you love the first albums by In Flames and Dark Tranquillity, then you probably won’t dislike Legacy of Hate, but you’re almost certainly bored by the myriad bands who have tried to reinvent that wheel over the last 15 years or so, so while Legacy of Hate might pass the time inoffensively, that’s about as good as it’s gonna get.
— Friar Johnsen

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ANNIHILATOR, Double Live Annihilation  (2003, AFM)

The skull:
Animal skulls are generally frowned upon here at Big Dumb Skulls. The Council prefers that submissions depict only human or human-esque skulls. Take the horns away from this one and you’re pretty close to human, so we’ll let it slide. This bison-man skull thingy hovers above a sea (or puddle) of blood, one that is active and bubbling, indicating, mmm, maybe…Hell??? Whatever the case, wherever he hovers, he’s got “Double Live” etched into his forehead, and his eyes glow like fiery coals, presenting to you the word “Annihilation.” Skulls hover a lot, don’t they?

The music:
Isn’t it weird how “King of the Kill” could have been on those ’80s era Piledriver albums? How “Striker” is like Iron Maiden trying to play thrash (not a novel idea anymore, though), and “Murder” opens this album but is still as stinky as that whole Remains disaster? You get it all here, Annihilator fans. It was difficult for me to care about Annihilator past album #2, but if you’re a devotee, Double Live Annihilation will please, especially the career-spanning song selection, which is so career-spanning it hardly has any room for much from their first and best album. The sound is very good, the performances all totally pro. Vocalist Joe Comeau has a weird history: singer in Liege Lord, then became a guitarist in Overkill, formed Ramrod, then sang in Tad Morose for about three seconds, and he winds up as vocalist in Annihilator. (Although with the frequency of lineup changes in Annihilator, we’re all bound to be in Annihilator eventually.) Comeau has a  flavorless delivery, but it’s less annoying than Randy Rampage, so hearing a song like “Alice in Hell” without Rampage is a pleasure, as it’s one of Jeff Waters’ best compositions. The rest is what Annihilator specializes in: lots of great riffs, very few great songs.
— Friar Wagner

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NEURASTHENIA, Possessed (2007, UKDivision)

The skull:
I was going to start with, “I’m no expert on skull horns…” but then I realized I probably am about as close as it comes to such a thing, so I can just flat-out say that I don’t think that’s where the horns go. The only justification I can imagine is that Neurasthenia is positing a very literal kind of possession, where a little demon actually sets up shop inside your head. This seems like an awful way to go, I must admit! But, these Italian thrashers must really love the idea, because basically this exact skull appears on their next album as well, albeit ringed by a necklace of smaller, evidently unpossessed skulls. I guess they’ve gone all in and decided to also steal the concept of recycling skulls from Nuclear Assault, which is odd, but I’ll allow it.

The music:
Thrash, but not your typical rethrash. I guess almost all thrash, at this point, is inherently retro, but Neurasthenia seem to be shooting for the weird not-sure-of-itself thrash of the early 90s, like the weird groovy miscalculation of Nuke Assault’s little-loved Something Wicked or the third Xentrix album. Those comparisons are sure to make Neurasthenia sound worse than they are, but I can’t think of a better frame of reference. At their hookiest and most melodic (as in “Filthy Lucre”) Neurasthenia are pretty good, actually, tempering their old thrash tendencies with a helping of melodic death metal, and they rarely plod in the unfortunate fashion of bad 90s thrash. Singer Neil Grotti makes the best of a limited range, eking out some fairly catchy melodies with less than an octave of Hetfieldian yarl, and while the riffing is short on stand-out exemplars, it also doesn’t offend with naked derivation. Overall, this is a moderately pleasing, if slight, late thrash entry that functions as something of a corrective to all the pizza mosh bullshit out there.
— Friar Johnsen

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EXILED, Exiled  (2002, Hellion)

The skull:
The fact that this is Exiled’s first-ever release — no demo, no EP, and on a fairly well-known label — and it looks like THIS tells you that almost no thought whatsoever went into the artwork. They’re like a baby fresh out of the womb that’s expected to get dressed in its finest and make an immediate public appearance. No wonder Exiled just went “uh…skull, that’s it!” Grab any skull you can find on your favorite clip-art page, make it glow and stamp a barcode on its forehead…voila! There you have your first album cover. Brilliant.

The music:
Well-crafted, highly energetic, aggressive power metal with plenty of speed but also enough timing shifts to keep you on your toes. The vocalist hovers in a mid-range, but dips low sometimes and every now and then well move to higher ground — he’s pretty good, although lacks something truly identifiable. The capability of each musician is fairly high too, and the songwriting is solid, if nothing groundbreaking. Exiled do what they do pretty well, delivering passion, darkness, melancholy and spirit in equal measure, played with remarkable ability, and you can’t help but like it at least a little bit. I wouldn’t return unless they really started finding their own unique muse, but it was good for one-time listen.
— Friar Wagner

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RELLIK, Killer  (2001, Doomed Planet)

The skull:
This skull looks so desperate for a bite, he’ll chomp down on any damn thing. A logo made of stone, a rat, a mushroom cloud…whatever’s in the vicinity, he’s gotta eat it. And if you haven’t figured it out yet, Rellik is Killer backwards. But the skull don’t care. He just wants to keep eating whatever you throw his way. Killer cover!

The music:
I remember reading about this California band in Metal Rendezvous ‘zine back in the day. They sounded interesting, but their 1986 EP was pretty much impossible to find, so I’ve never actually heard them until now. Rellik inhabits that special little space occupied by bands such as Serpent’s Knight, Slauter Xstroyes, and S.A. Slayer. The vocals are especially in line with any of those bands (squeaky, high and weird), the music a bit more straightfoward than S.A. Slayer or Slauter Xstroyes, but you get the idea. Basically Snakepit-metal, if that makes any sense to you. Which can sometimes be a totally great thing, but sometimes it’s just another forgotten old band who deserved obscurity because they just weren’t that good. While Rellik’s music is pretty okay in spots (the solo section of “Street Sinner”), there’s nothing here that requires immediate investigation. This compilation combined the only recordings they made, from 1986 and 1990, with three other tracks that never saw the light of day. If you’ve lived without them this long, you can keep living a Rellik-less life.
— Friar Wagner

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MALICIOUS ONSLAUGHT, Thrashed Black (1988, demo)

The skull:
Crude lo-brow artwork here, but it’s a death/thrash demo cassette from 1988, what do you expect? This poor guy is hanging on desperately to his remaining eye and hoping for no more damage. Here’s been through enough already. An eye out and a cleaved skull that slices his head from the upper left side almost clean through to the opposite eye. There’s hardly a demo cover more crudely cult-looking than this!

The music:
I love all those old bands whose name or album title tried to exactly describe their music. Albums like Extreme Aggression or Intense Brutality. Thanks for letting us know! Does Malicious Onslaught deliver a malicious onslaught? Yes they do! It’s pretty raw, which is appropriate for what they’re doing: a fusion of Show No Mercy-era Slayer with the caffeinated aggression of early Sadus and R.A.V.A.G.E. Only without the same skill level. You can hear these guys are pretty green on this tape. It’s a bit junky, a bit malnourished. But I like it. An otherworldly vocal approach would have worked better — this dude sounds too hardcore, in the D.R.I. vein. More Petrozza and less Brecht would’ve been cool. There’s a weird part in “Revenge of the Innocent” that brings in a cosmic element, followed by a short passage that gets back into metal but stays weird, then it goes all too quickly back to thrashing and crashing. Interesting stuff that I’d recommend to fans of the aforementioned bands, and anyone into madcap Florida band Hellwitch too. Glad I stumbled upon this — it’s not as bad as expected. I thought maybe it would be second-rate death metal or clunky necro black metal, considering the labels that later released their records (JL America and Unisound, respectively), but it’s more interesting than that, and a little weird at times. They did change quite a bit by the time of the death-swamped Brutal Gore album (more truth in advertising), but Thrashed Black is just good harmless intensity. Some of the clumsy playing actually adds to the strangeness and charm.
— Friar Wagner